by Rachel Brown
“Mom, I love it when you are silly! You haven’t been silly since last year when you wet your pants at the restaurant.”
That’s what my boy said to me last week. If I could insert crying emojis here I would! I mean a whole year has passed and I haven’t been silly? Are you kidding me Davis? And the time you thought I was silly was when I inadvertently yelled ‘Happy Birthday’ in a restaurant instead of singing it …and then proceeded to embarrass the fool out of myself and wet my pants?
THAT WAS MY SILLY?
Is it work for you to be silly? Because it is work for me for sure!
I don’t even remember what I did that they thought was “silly” – but they loved it. “Mom, can you do that more? I just love it when you are silly!”
I take my kids to do fun things, but a lot of times I am not ‘fun’! Do you see the difference? As they have aged, the need way less assistance from me
I take them to a bounce house, but it is a catch up time with a friend.
I take my kids to the park, but I never go on the equipment.
I watch, but I do not experience it with them.
Sometimes (not all the time), they just need me to take my shoes off and go down the slide! Sometimes they need me to just swing on the swing with them. Sometimes they need me to just to take off the instructor hat and just throw a spit wad! They need me to be a kid and not the mom for a moment… not all the time but sometimes! Basically, I need to let it go and embrace my own childhood again.
Last Sunday night was just a big fat reminder to me that they will not ask me to be silly with them forever. I do not want to miss any opportunity to embrace my silly self during these short years of their childhood. My little man reminded me that life is a series of moments to be captured, not a list of tasks to be completed!
Oh my heart, as I weep writing these words! My babies are not babies. They are 7 and 9 and it is probably the most influential years of my parenting. They watch me, they repeat me, they embrace my teachings, they respect my wishes (sometimes), they long for my boundaries of love, they want to be close to my heart, they truly want to be responsible and respectful. I just want to be more consciously aware everyday of what their heart needs in the moment. Not from a place of ‘have to’ but from a place of ‘want to’ because I know that this window is truly a blade of grass that will be cut with the next season change.
So, Davis asked me another question that night: “Mom, can you have a silly second each week?”
How pitiful that he has to ask me to be silly for one second. But, he did, and it was an awesome gentle reminder. I want to muster up my inner crazy and be a kid:
– to tell a knock knock joke
– to make a totally inappropriate sound because it makes them laugh
– to say “Davis, know what? Chicken butt” and hear him cackle like he’s never heard it before!
Being silly is not natural for me, so I need your help. How do you embrace silly? I genuinely want help!