10 Tips for Less Chaos, More Calm

It’s Courtney here. Before we begin, let me re-introduce this contributor, Ashley Eiler. Ashley is the creator of Blessed Be the Name, Be{tween}, Favorite Laundry – and just recently announced her many changes with all of those brands and ventures.  I am so proud of her courage to say goodbye to a career she held dear. And, hello to one of her huge passions – photography. She’s an old friend and treasured friend.

And, when you see the topic I asked her to discuss. You’ll know it was a secret plan of attack. I was dying to see her new house she renovated. I’m sneaky, huh! And I need all the help I can get. Love, Queen of Chaos


(Photo: Me, Kelli [another contributor and dear friend], Ashley)


10 Tips for More Calm, Less Chaos

by Ashley Eiler

Courtney recently asked me to write how we keep our home organized for things to run smoothly.  Fully realizing this is a subject that is fully inviting things to be chaotic in my house this week …simply because I wrote down that most of the time things run smoothly.  For the most part we have established some hard and fast goals that seem to keep chaos at bay…hoping you will find some things that will help you in your home….

1. A place for everything

Establishing a system in your home is key to calm.  Whether it is scissors, socks, soup, or super glue….everyone in my family knows where to find what they need and are looking for.

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2. Activities have a place

We do certain things in certain places in our house….paint goes at the child’s table, homework is at the homework desk, food is at the bar unless family dinner…we don’t have to discuss each time anyone wants to do anything…you just go where you do that thing….that way there isn’t paint on the family dining table, and there isn’t food on the furniture.

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3. Cleanliness

I personally have always enjoyed a clean house….by clean I mean picked up….clutter makes me uncomfortable and it is hard for me to rest when things are everywhere.

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4. Everyone knows what to expect

Any wise person knows that it is unsettling to not know what to expect.   My family knows what our routine is like….the little things and big things….it just brings rest in their minds and demeanor

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5. Consistency is key

The definition of insanity is “doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result.”  There are so MANY areas that need consistency…from discipline to bedtime routines….find what it is in your home that is wobbly and fix it with a massive dose of relentless consistency….

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6. Rules are rules

We have rules and they are important…they are there so that everyone can enjoy moving through life.  However, it seems as though lately they seem a lot less like rules and more like we are respecting each other.  It seems that is when you know that you have made good rules, the ones that need to be there.
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7. Freedom in obedience

I tell my children often, because they have shown that they can obey our family rules they receive the reward of more freedom.  I can trust them to make great decisions because they know what the consequences are if they don’t, not to mention we agree on the reason for obedience anyway.

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8. Time for schedule & a time for rest

Due to commitments our family has made there are certain non-negotiable activities  in each day….work, school, church, and sports are all things that are on a schedule…like it or hate it….is rest better or something else?  So anytime there is free time, would the person be better served by rest or the pending activity?  We guard against being overscheduled even if it means that we do not make every birthday party or function…it is more important to make sure we are fully committed to what we have decided to participate in.

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9. Input from everyone

It seems we discuss things a lot in our family, my husband & kids are grateful for some things and also share some things they we could do better.

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10. Atmosphere free of yelling…infused with love.

Perhaps this is my favorite part of a home that is peaceful….or maybe the most important one for me?  I don’t enjoy being yelled at….simple as that…..anything that you need to yell can be said with a great deal of emphasis in a much lower tone.  A whisper even more effective it seems.  Even yelling across the house it not productive…walk closer.   Yelling will destroy a peaceful home and while it seems so logical when someone is out of line….it is the first things to change in a home that desires an emotionally safe, calm, and peaceful atmosphere.

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I am hoping you can see a definite theme here….a calm home comes from that is organized with routines & consistency and free of things that cause chaos.  Funny how this list kind of reinvents the wheel….God calls us to love one another and loves others better than ourselves.  Praying and hoping that you will immediately reap the benefits of smooth running home.  May God be glorified in how we interact with each other and guests in our home!!



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  1. Ashley, thank you for this. I so want a calm & peaceful home like this, but never can seem to get there. I went back and read your post, “A Call to Simplify” and plan to start with some of your suggestions in there!

  2. Ashley–so fun to see this and see you with your littles in your beautiful grown up home! I can remember us as junior high girls in your old house giggling about who knows what! And at that time, I’m certain our mothers were trying to figure out calm in their houses! Now, I need to figure out the organizational calm to our house with 4 little boys. May take several more years!! 🙂

  3. I love this post. As an “older” mom of 4, I can attest to the benefits of CALM. There were times when calm was so hard to achieve…but sooo worth it when we did.

  4. I’m certain our mothers were trying to figure out calm in their houses! Now, I need to figure out the organizational calm to our house with 4 little boys. May take several more years!! 🙂 http://qr.net/rtcX

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