A Heart Change

I look around me.  People are so kind.  So thoughtful.  So wise.  So full of the knowledge of God.  Full of desires to make a difference.  To change lives through giving.  Through missions abroad.  Through adoption.  Changing lives in a million different ways. 

While all of these things sound so awesome and for a second I think, I’d like to be more like them. I should do that, I am easily discouraged.

How could I possibly make a difference in the way others are doing?

What do I have to offer?  Why do they have such big hearts and willingness to sacrifice their own self for the good of others.  What am I doing?  Feels like nothing.  Nothing major anyway.  Yes, I am raising two sweet girls.  Yes, I am serving my husband.  Yes, we are tithing.  Yes, we…fill in the blank.  These are not small or insignificant things, but they leave me wanting to serve our great big God in greater and bigger ways.  Not necessarily in more visible ways, but in ways that are leading even more than those living in my home towards the God who created them.

But life is so busy.

I already have zero free time, where does volunteering at an inner city ministry fit in?

Money is so tight, how can we possibly give more? We’ve already cut out the “extras”.

A mission trip?  Now?  Yeah right!  Who would watch my almost 3 kiddos for 10 days so I could cross the world to hold orphans?  And then what about the fundraising?

Adpot?  Ha!  My husband (among others) would laugh me right out of my two bedroom house.  Plus, how could I possibly give the right amount of love to a child that’s not even mine?  I just can’t imagine it.

And then, I hear truth…

I read my friend Kylie’s blog about the transformation she has had in her life and in her heart as she has prayed and prayed for God to direct her life.  To give her family a mission statement.  He is leading her obedient heart right to Congo to adopt 2 children of her very own.  To raise them in her home with her incredible husband and two precious children.  No doubt this will be an amazing story to follow.

God, you are amazing.  I will start praying for direction and a desire to see things the way you see them. To learn more about orphans all around the world and how I can play a role, no matter how small. My heart is seeing orphans and adoption differently after hearing my dear friends heart.

Then I sit with another friend, Ashley, as she has tears in her eyes just talking about Katie Davis and her blog, Kisses from Katie.  I tear up a little too, not really understanding where she is coming from, but seeing that her heart is broken for these children she has never even met.  I mean, this woman has three children, one adopted.  Could she possibly want to add to her family?  Now?  What does she know that I don’t know?  What is she getting that I just don’t? I want to know more.  I want to “get it”.  I buy Kisses from Katie to get more behind this story.  I didn’t buy it immediately, of course,  afraid of what I might learn.  Afraid of how my heart my change and what I might feel compelled to do.

Lord, thank you for Ashley.  Thank you for friends who are growing my faith in you.  Who challenge me to try to see others the way you see them.  Break my heart for what breaks yours, Lord.  I want to “get it”.  I do not. I repeat I do not want to adopt a baby.  At least not now.  Lord, you will have to change me big time for that.  A small part of me worries you might, so for now I will stick to reading my new book and finding some ways that I can serve and share you with people  around me.

There is conversation after conversation.  Book after book.  Sermon after sermon. Challenging my walk with the Lord.  Not in a bad way.  In a very very great way.  I really have been missing something.  How did I not see this before?  How did I miss such an extreme and obvious command from Jesus?

How is this just now occurring to me? God, you truly have a special desire to see good come to those who are widowed and orphaned.  I have no idea how I missed this.  This is just the beginning of changing my heart.  Changing the way I look at serving the Lord.  But I still have questions.  What can I do?  How can I do it?  Lord, give me ideas.  I truly have no clue.

Atlanta Mission comes to mind. So does Operation Christmas Child.

Conversations begin with friends.  Many of us have been learning and growing in similar ways.  No coincidence.  This is God doing something BIG.  Stirring our hearts to make a difference in ways that bring glory to Him alone.   I am eager.  I am willing. I am asking Him to show me the how and when and where.  In the meantime, I am thinking, dreaming, changing.  And I love it!  This is for real.  This is FOR GOOD.

So, I have this idea…and I wonder if others might join me.

Taking small steps.  Making small changes over time that could make BIG changes FOR GOOD!

To say I am addicted to Diet Coke would be an understatement.  If you asked me how often I ran through the Chick drive-thru for a LARGE dc with light ice, I would have to say daily.  Then I would be really honest and tell you sometimes it’s twice daily.  It’s weird.  It’s not the most awful thing.  Not even close, however, it’s a complete waste of money.  Especially when I see tears in my friends eyes and read and learn more about how many people all around this world are suffering.  It’s at least $1.83 (depending on what county I am in!) a day I am spending on a drink that I could live without.  $1.83/day – that’s $667.95 a year that I am spending on a drink, a luxury.  Again, this luxury is not a HUGE deal.  But I am wondering what I could do FOR GOOD with this money I am spending on something that brings me such temporary joy. And, yes, dc does bring me joy.  I know, weird.

So, here’s my idea.  For the rest of the year, my daily drive-thru drink money is going somewhere else.  Somewhere it can be used FOR GOOD. $111.63 for the months of November and December.  As I write this I think Operation Christmas Child would be a perfect way to spend this!  So that’s it.  I am giving up my large fountain diet cokes for two months to be able to joyfully give to those who are serving others.  Hooray!  It’s not much.  But it’s certainly something. What if I continue to pray for direction, for God to change my heart, to give me places to serve.  And then what if I obey?  What if I stay focused? Then what could I do FOR GOOD?

What do you think?

Could you think of one thing you could give up from now until Christmas that might save even a dollar a day that you could give to someone else?

Let’s call its GIVE IT UP FOR GOOD!

 Tell me what you might GIVE UP!

And how you can do that FOR GOOD!