This post was inspired by a lipstick comment. My husband has been mentioning MAC and lipstick over and over again. Wondering if I wanted new lipstick for Christmas. Suggesting we stop by the store.
I have two choices every day:
Assume the Best.
Assume the Worst.
When I assumed the worst, I decided “he must hate my new red lipstick and is just trying to get me to change it.”
If I had assumed the best, I would’ve known his heart, “He is so thoughtful. Always thinking of things I love and how to get me something useful.”
My habit of assuming the worst, doesn’t end there. Do you do this? Here are many examples of how we might do this.
Assuming the Worst Scenarios
- An interior decorate friend walks in your house, do you assume she is eyeballing your house and thinking how horrible it looks?
- You see a friend that is a writer on parenting books, do you assume her and her kids are better than yours? And even begin to confess all your failings?
- When you most physically fit friend comes over, do you assume she is disgusted by your extra weight and what you are eating?
- When you see a pastor or mentor, do you assume they are taking notes on your failures?
- If someone doesn’t respond to your email or text or phone, do you assume they don’t like you and are purposely avoiding you?
- If someone doesn’t like or comment on your photo, do you assume they are being intentional about that?
- If someone forgets to compliment a dish, do you assume they hated it?
- If your teacher mentions an area of improvement for your child, do you assume she is out to get your kid or dislikes her?
- If your husband suggests anything, do you take it super personally – assuming the worst?
This list could go on and on and on. I know this from a bad habit of assuming the worst. What if we did it differently in 2015?
Assuming the Best Scenarios.
- Assume your decorator friend is actually looking at the great pieces in your home and how it looks like a home.
- Assume your workout/nutritional friend is not judging you.
- Assume your writer friend is noticing your kid’s precious outfit and enjoying YOU as you .
- Assume your mentor believes in you and is thinking how much she loves you.
- Assume your friend that missed your text or email – is as busy as you.
- Assume your friends on social media didn’t see it or forgot to comment, but they think you and your family are stinkin precious.
- Assume your husband loves you more than any person in the world and wants the best.
- Assume your friends believe in you and think you are 10x more awesome than you think.
- Assume your kid’s teacher loves your child.
- Assume most people are doing their own lives, not thinking BAD of you – just maybe not thinking of you. And that is OK.
Now, there are truthfully some not-very-nice people out there and they may be exceptions to the rule.
I have learned MOST of the time, when I assume the worst, I am assuming something false. Assuming the best leads you closer to truth.
We can do a number in our heads and actually damage our own self-esteem and relationships around us.
I wrote this for me truthfully, because it’s a desire for 2015.
I want to believe the best in everyone around me and let my mind rest.
Imagine if we also assumed the best about God? Believed what he promises is for all of us – just not a super spiritual few. Believe he loves you like he has promised. Believe he’s there for your family – even in the midst of horrible times. Believe he isn’t out to get you or punish you – that he has the very best in store for your life. Assume he hasn’t forgotten you.
Hoping if you open that blender or workout outfit this Christmas, that you assume you are incredibly loved and not a fat mom that needs to cook more.