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Dads, We Need You

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This review of my book on Amazon really impacted me. This is just a portion of his remarks.

“I highly recommend this book for parents who want to instill the above virtues to their kids in a fun and engaging manner.

I only wished that she would also address this to Dad’s. Everything in this book is addressed to mother’s which I understand but it would be nice to acknowledge that father’s have a hand in teaching these virtues at home too.”

I don’t read the reviews too often for obvious reasons. Thankfully, they have been so positive. This review stuck with me, because I think he’s right.

Every virtue in my book is relevant for dads. And father’s don’t just have a hand in the game – they are critical.

 

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When I write, I literally see moms faces in my mind. My passion has always been “moms” and that was the target audience for this book. However, I just had to go on record to say…

Dads, we need you.

In our home, we mostly giggle when dad is around. They learn much of their patience, forgiveness, love and responsibility by watching their dad. He is able to take over when mom is defeated. He sets the mood and tone so often and saves us from going downhill. He loves the Lord and his life shows. He leads our family so well. He participates in all my family fun ideas – and often he is creating the tradition or kick-starting the adventure.

Dads, we need …

Your love of Jesus.

Your support.

Your leadership.

Your wisdom.

Your heart.

Your engagement.

Your affirmation.

Your belief in us.

Your firm foundation.

Your lighthearted spirit.

Your joy.

Even your corny jokes.

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I certainly don’t say these things enough to Ron. I am a better mom because I’m married to Ron DeFeo. He is not a small part of training and raising our girls to know and love Jesus – he’s my partner in crime. I couldn’t do it without him.

So, do fathers have a hand in making virtues, love and laughter a daily part of your family life?

I would say 100% yes, but let’s hear from three of my favorite dads. Each of these dads are seriously incredible and have a PASSION for families.

Casey Darnell shares on CHOOSING JOY …

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We have a fun thing happening in our home right with the title of this book. It actually began, when I was working on the song for this book. The girls were screaming and fighting and the stress level at home was high, meanwhile I was trying to finish the demo of this song about laughter in the home. Not exactly a conducive environment.

 

So I recall yelling out… “In this house we will GIGGLE!!!!!”  

 

But hear me saying “giggle” in a Clark Griswold demanding, but goofy tone… real non-negotiable like. And picture it being triumphantly announced over their volume-increasing screaming!

 

It accomplished what I subconsciously hoped it would, we laughed… and it has since become a “thing we do.” My 7-year-old has even started saying it loud and proud!  She emulates me and my heart swells.

Casey is a DEAR friend of mine. We share a passion for our family and empowering other families to know Jesus. He is a worship leader, song writer (wrote my video trailer song!) and incredible man of God. And his family is stinkin amazing.

 

Todd Graham shares on FUN …

 

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“In Playing For Keeps, Reggie Joiner wrote that ‘If you aren’t having fun with a kid, they don’t know if you like them or not.’ This is SO true.  Dads don’t have a tendency to think about how big, loud, & intimidating they can be.  Dads are also not inclined to be super fun after a day of work.  Dads stress easy & carry that home sometimes. What would change in your house if goal #1 when you saw your kids every day was to produce an atmosphere of lightheartedness?  I am convinced beyond measure that this would shape the future story of the little personalities at their homes.

When you try to remember your childhood, you usually are imprinted with either the best times or the worst times.  Dads can fill a future adult’s memories of life growing up with so much life and fun. Start thinking in terms of making moments.

I want my kids to think of “Dad” every time they hear the word “Fun”. In our house, tickles and a joke a day are critical, no exception.”

Todd Graham is the Family Pastor at Vinings Lake Community Church in Atlanta. He’s also an Orange Advocate, Creative writer for MarriedPeople.org and husband to Trina, Dad to Asher, Evelyn and Cassie. 

 

Benjamin Watson shares on TRUST & DOUBT …

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“To get better we must admit when we do wrong and truly own up to it and change our actions. Its not enough to just say, ‘I’m sorry.’ Trust in the workplace is built when there is change.” One of the things I appreciate about football is the film room. The film doesn’t lie and, when a mistake is made, it is there for everyone to see. Great players and teams are ones that accept responsibility for their mistakes and try to correct them. No one is perfect, particularly me.

I have learned that it is better to be honest about my shortcomings than trying to pretend to be perfect or defend at all costs. Correcting our kids while denying our own wrongdoing is inconsistent, hypocritical, and breaks trust. Being honest nd confessing when we fall short propels us to improvement. Our kids need to not only see us admit wrong but see change. Lead the way and you will create a house of trust and growth.

Excerpt from 3 Keys of Family Leadership on All Pro Dad – read the rest.

Benjamin Watson is the proud husband to my sweet friend Kirsten and the dad of four adorable kids. You probably have recently heard more about him and his beautiful writing about Ferguson. You can cheer for him every time the Saints take the field.

Other Dads Weigh In…

Here’s what Casey Graham of The Rocket Company says…

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Jeff Henderson of North Point Ministries shares…

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I love being a dad, but to be honest, I’m an insecure one. I want to be really good at this, but there are days when I wonder. This is one of the many reasons I love Courtney’s book. She reminds us that we should take parenting seriously, but not so much ourselves. Love, giggles, and virtues are a lot more fun than perfection anyway. This is a practical and encouraging guide for parents who aren’t perfect but who want to get this extraordinary opportunity right—and have fun along the way.”

 

If you’re a dad reading this blog post, please know you are incredibly valued and respected.

We need you.

 

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3 Comments

  1. absolutely love hearing about the impact dads have on our children’s lives as well as the input from the dads themselves!

  2. Every night when my husband comes home, my children all hide. “Find us Daddy!” rings through the house and, sometimes tiredly, he goes, “Now where did all those children go?” He walks around, smiles, finds them, chases them, grabs them and tickles them. This is one of their favorite times of the day!

    Sometimes they climb on him and try to have him walk them around the house (with all four of them hanging on him somewhere). It is quite a sight to see!

    I really don’t think I could do this journey without my husband. We balance each other out and bring each other back when the other loses sight of the goal. Sometimes he is absent in mind even when he is physically there, which can be hard. So I think the biggest thing is to pray and support these men in our lives.

    Dad’s you are appreciated!

    I love my husband and thanks for this post Courtney!

  3. Very timely post, Court. We are learning about how to “BE” at our church right now in all walks of life, and part of that is “BEing” there for our families. I have just started reading an All Pro Dad book that Monica gave me last year and am looking forward to the positive message that surrounds it.

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