Did Our Moms Struggle?
Do you think our struggles as moms are way more “out there” than past generations of women? I believe it’s a combination of women speaking more freely, the internet and a different time in life.
I see pros and cons for this.
I believe the same struggles have always been there. I believe there have always been women that were feeling lost from God. I believe there have always been women that were not where they dreamed to be. I believe there were moms that were weary and afraid. I believe moms were overwhelmed and alone.
I believe there was always an army of strong women that were brave, courageous and hard-working.
I believe in some ways – they had less to do because society was different. We have added 122 clubs and volunteer activities and social norms. However, we have lowered the number of kids per household. But perhaps their plates were more full because they were baking and making every meal when ordering out is acceptable for us? Oh, we could debate this all day. I am not trying to stir the pot – mostly just thinking about how we deal with struggles – internally or together as a group. As a community.
So, what do you think? Have times changed? Did our moms struggle the same? Were they just gracious to keep their struggles secret? Is it good that we build community and work through these things together?
As often as I get the precious kid stories – I get the RAW comments from moms. Some friends and some emails. Here are some over the last 6 months that break my heart.
“I want the joy that you have. Motherhood isn’t what I thought. I haven’t had joy at all in four years.”
“I am so far from God. I don’t experience Him at all. I don’t know where to start.”
“I’m afraid it’s too late. I’ve let down my kids in this area (faith).”
“This is so different than I thought. I am not where I thought I would be. This is not me.”
Are you in the 25%?
My friend Kristen SO ENCOURAGES the moms that is not where she thought today. Please take time to read this. You are not alone. Are you in the 25%?
Please come back tomorrow and hear about women’s groups. Through the Build ‘Em Up series we are going to try and link up as many of you as we can. We belong together – in community. Sharing our struggles face to face. Walking through motherhood together.
What do you think?
Did our moms struggle and just process differently?
I know my mom struggled with some of the same introverted friendship issues that I do. I don’t know whose struggle was more difficult, I think they are just similar but different.
I think both definitely had struggles but it’s different now. I think that there’s a LOT more pressure on moms to be able to do it all. With our moms and grandma’s, it was expected and accepted if they stayed home to raise children. Now, often women get the response, “Oh, you just stay at home? And then there are the women who work and are criticized for that!
My mom has mentioned before her struggles with feeling lonely after my family moved halfway across the country when my dad was a medical resident. She had two small children, a husband who worked 24/7 and was exhausted when he was at home, and no friends or family. While I’ve never had that experience, I have had the profound feeling of loneliness that washes over me that moment I look on facebook and see two good friends are out together and I wonder why they didn’t invite me.
I think struggles are always there. Now, in this era of social media we live in, we not only can constantly compare ourselves to other moms (regardless of how accurate or inaccurate those comparisons are) but we also have a sounding board to share out own thoughts and feelings. I think that, for the most part, sharing and receiving support from other moms is great, however, there always a flip side. How often has a mom read another mom’s struggle and then made it her own. You read about something and think, “Oh, well, I’ve never thought about that before..” or “I didn’t realize this was so important…” and then all of a sudden it’s just another thing for a mom to do or worry about.
Great, thought-provoking questions, Courtney!! No easy answers for sure…