There’s a rumor circling about me and it needs to be squashed.
“She has it all together.”
I really try so hard to give you the raw, the real, the straight up thoughts.
The perception that I have it all together is just false.
I just don’t.
I am surely doing my best and have some positive traits as a mom.
However, just like all of us,
I am just a girl with insecurities.
I am a woman desparate for Jesus because I have learned I can’t do anything without Him nor do I want to.
I can give you a huge long list of things I do wrong.
I make mistakes,
um, daily – including typing this blog entry while my kids watch tv.
Shall I list them all?
Or do you want to ask questions?
How can I debunk this rumor?
MY GOAL IS “GROWING”
I’m in a relationship with Jesus Christ.
I want to follow Him and earnestly work HIS PLAN for our family and for my business.
I do not want to “arrive” or do these x things and then be a super Christian or super mom.
I want to grow closer to Him every day.
I want to fail miserably, like I do DAILY…
then pick myself up and ask for forgiveness, see the lesson and pray for comfort.
I want to just plain GROW.
Be better than I was the day before, the week before, the year before.
As I look back to some consistent “weaknesses” of my life…
I see growth as I finally understand what it’s like to abide in Him daily.
I have NOT conquered the dumb beasts.
I am not as catty, I am not as sarcastic and jabby,
I am not as snippy, mean and moody.
I am not as self-asorbed.
However, it’s all still me and I still battle them.
I AM GROWING.
I have always been pretty “self-aware” of who I am,
but Jeff Henderson’s “Cimate Change” series
gave me the courage to ask
WHAT IS LIKE TO BE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF ME?
He suggested asking that question to 3 people and then your Heavenly Father.
I have so appreciated the thoughts I have gotten. Priceless feedback.
I am not growing towards the mom next door or my sister or to be like my mom.
I am growing to be ME, the very best one – the one that looks like a follower of Christ.
I have this one life, some skills and talents unique to me, resources, time
and I want to be a great steward of it all.
I have these precious kids that make me CRAZY some days,
but then I remember they will be off to college in just a blink.
So, I get up every day and do what you do.
I do the very best I can with my life.
I ask Jesus in all his grace and mercy, to help me get through it.
Lead and guide me.
I believer there is freedom in that.
I beliveve I am so much prettier, stronger, nicer, braver than I give myself credit for because
the man who created the UNIVERSE
created me in His Image
and I am His daughter.
I’ve got to rest in that.
(Speaking of weaknesses.. I have a serious social media addiction. Awareness if the first step. 🙂 I’m like the biggest nerd on twitter. If you’re on there, let’s be friends and talk about something so I can understand it more. Follow Lil Light O’ Mine on twitter here.)