Do You Have It All Together?

There’s a rumor circling about me and it needs to be squashed.

“She has it all together.”

I really try so hard to give you the raw, the real, the straight up thoughts.

The perception that I have it all together is just false.

I just don’t.

I am surely doing my best and have some positive traits as a mom.

However, just like all of us,

I am just a girl with insecurities.

I am a woman desparate for Jesus because I have learned I can’t do anything without Him nor do I want to.

I can give you a huge long list of things I do wrong.

I make mistakes,

um, daily – including typing this blog entry while my kids watch tv.

Shall I list them all?

Or do you want to ask questions?

How can I debunk this rumor?

MY GOAL IS “GROWING”

I’m in a relationship with Jesus Christ.

I want to follow Him and earnestly work HIS PLAN for our family and for my business.

I do not want to “arrive” or do these x things and then be a super Christian or super mom.

I want to grow closer to Him every day.

I want to fail miserably, like I do DAILY…

then pick myself up and ask for forgiveness, see the lesson and pray for comfort.

I want to just plain GROW.

Be better than I was the day before, the week before, the year before.

As I look back to some consistent “weaknesses” of my life…

I see growth as I finally understand what it’s like to abide in Him daily.

I have NOT conquered the dumb beasts.

I am not as catty, I am not as sarcastic and jabby,

I am not as snippy, mean and moody.

I am not as self-asorbed.

However, it’s all still me and I still battle them.

I AM GROWING.

I have always been pretty “self-aware” of who I am,

but Jeff Henderson’s “Cimate Change” series

gave me the courage to ask

WHAT IS LIKE TO BE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF ME?

He suggested asking that question to 3 people and then your Heavenly Father.

I have so appreciated the thoughts I have gotten. Priceless feedback.

I am not growing towards the mom next door or my sister or to be like my mom.

I am growing to be ME, the very best one – the one that looks like a follower of Christ.

I have this one life, some skills and talents unique to me, resources, time

and I want to be a great steward of it all.

I have these precious kids that make me CRAZY some days,

but then I remember they will be off to college in just a blink.

So, I get up every day and do what you do.

I do the very best I can with my life.

I ask Jesus in all his grace and mercy, to help me get through it.

Lead and guide me.

I believer there is freedom in that.

I beliveve I am so much prettier, stronger, nicer, braver than I give myself credit for because

the man who created the UNIVERSE

created me in His Image

and I am His daughter.

I’ve got to rest in that.

(Speaking of weaknesses.. I have a serious social media addiction. Awareness if the first step. 🙂  I’m like the biggest nerd on twitter. If you’re on there, let’s be friends and talk about something so I can understand it more. Follow Lil Light O’ Mine on twitter here.)