Every kid is basically wondering this… do you love me? Even when I mess up? When I’m bad? When I don’t perform well enough? When I let you down?
Are we still ok?
I think we assume our kids know that – but they don’t. Sometimes our body language or mood (GUILTY) sends them the complete opposite. We somehow send them a message or they HEAR something we didn’t say. Maybe they have the idea they have to get straight A’s to be loved or be the best athlete or for my kids – maybe they feel the pressure to be the most well behaved and star Christian.
So.. just remember to let the AIR (pressure) out sometimes. Like a balloon being deflated. Give them the sigh of relief.
Let them know they are ok. Just fine. In your loving arms. On a walk. Wherever and whenever guards are down – can you remind them that they are ok with you?
Yes – we all want to do our best. But – in this house, failure is ok. And messing up is OK. And not getting it just right is welcome. Just take a look at mom – she’s messing up daily.
Remind them that Jesus is the perfect example of this grace. And that it’s SO EASY to strive and perform and get caught up in that game of trying so hard to please Him and your parents. Remind them it’s ok to admit when they are about to explode from pressure and anxiety and worry. Something our kids should never have to stuff or face really – but they do. Help them release it and uncover what is unnecessary pressure. And sometimes, be honest (we have had to do this – ouch) – where we are putting the heat on them and need to back off.
Be the safe spot for your kids – that lets them know. It’s really going to be ok. No one said you had to master karate – the banjo – 4 languages – geometry by age 8. Well maybe they saw that somewhere. In our house, you can be super good at jokes and hugs. And saying sorry. We’re getting really good at that.
NOTE: I’m doing a Facebook Live video update on my mother daughter program for tweens over at Treasured on Facebook March 30 at 10:00 cst.