I will never forget this teary phone call with my friend. We were talking about how tired we were as young moms and how much we loved it – yet we yearned for something more with our days.
We were trying to pump each other up, but we were both in the same shoes. We were both stay-at-home moms and we were knee-deep in some really physically and emotionally demanding years. The little years.
And she said something that stuck with me for many years.
“Court, I don’t even recognize me anymore.”
We cried some more together because I knew that statement carried so much. I knew what it meant and I felt it too.
A stay-at-home mom isn’t the only one that feels this way. I think the “girl” in us can get lost during many seasons of our lives. What about when you get so wrapped up into a relationship or what a boy thinks that you even forget what you like to eat? Your desires just become whatever he wants?
Who remembers this scene in Runaway Bride? I LOVED IT. It really hit home with me to find a way to love and get to know my man – but KNOW how I like my eggs too! 🙂
What about empty nesters or those that have left a career after many years? Any mom and any woman knows this feeling!
It can be hard to find yourself again right?
Yes, this has to do with identity and purpose and yes – this is a little bit about growing up – yet not losing the girl you’ve always been. I know my identity has had some issues after I left my corporate job and then I shifted all my ego into having great kids.
And now, I’m realizing the safest place for my identity has to be anchored in the unwavering love of God. Not what I do – or how I look – or how my kids behave.
So back to the girl in you. The girl in me.
What do you do when you need to reconnect with the GIRL in you?
I will be honest. This is a TRICKY balance. Because “me” time isn’t something that’s realistic all the time and I’m ok with it. During years as a mom, it’s important for me to remember that’s it’s one of the most important roles I’ll ever play. These kids depend on me and that is part of the role! I’ve noticed an unhealthy extreme about “me time” during motherhood. I think we can begin to get out of balance when we expect/demand the old single days of independence during years of raising children.
However, there’s an equally dangerous extreme that leans towards all dishing out and no fueling up. I’ve been there too. I’ve been in a season of only giving to others and I end up being resentful and bitter. And not very helpful with others because I’m so empty. We have to find a balance somehow and learn to know when we’ve reached an extreme.
Have we lost the girl in us? How do you reconnect with YOU?
I could you give you about 100 ways I fuel up and rescue the GIRL in me… from time in God’s word to date nights to mani pedis to vacations to simple a hazelnut latte and a great song. There are so many ways. It’s important to know yourself.
I just want to share ONE BIG WAY for ME that consistently refreshes me a a very deep level.
It’s FRIENDS. I have to surround myself with friends that know me well. To my core. It really doesn’t matter how I connect with them – road trip, FaceTime call, text, lunch, vacation, etc. You name it.
There is something magical that happens when I get around my girlfriends that know me best. They see me better than I see myself and I think they are like these little messengers of God’s love and grace. They remind me what I’m best at – what I love – and encourage me in a way that feels sacred. They remind me to laugh and to be myself. They remind me to chill out and enjoy life.
Sometimes I travel to get this time because I’ve moved around and it’s worth a trip to reconnect. Old friends and heart friends are treasured friends. You get what you pour out. Love others well. Forgive and ask for forgiveness. Give your heart freely and generously and you’ll receive way more back.
One of those friends for me is Chrystal Evans Hurst and ironically she has written a book, She’s Still There, on this very topic. Since I moved to Dallas – we have been spending some time together and I have LOVED watching her live this message out.
Here is why I love this book. I’ve read it cover and cover. She gives you wonderful biblical perspective and encouragement – but she’s also the tough love friend that’s going to hit you on the tush and tell you to get going. It’s both. We need God and we need action.
It’s a choice and I so needed this reminder.
As I’ve read her book and processed a few things I’d like to do for MYSELF this year… I’m thinking about these things. (PS – I’m getting an A+ in travel and manicures. Possibly over extending my me time in those areas. 🙂
- Space to enjoy God’s word without the rush
- Exploring photography or design for FUN not for business
- Finding an exercise activity I might enjoy – tennis or zumba – bc I can dance and duh tennis skirts are cute
What would you do for just YOU if you could this week?
TIME FOR GIVEAWAY
GIVEWAY IS NOW CLOSED:
Winners are Taylor, Christie Anthony, Veronica, Melissa, Heidi and Lisa – Congrats!