I was having a conversation with a friend (who we will call Amy) the other night. She is in the midst of processing a difficult decision. I could see myself in her as we got deeper into the conversation, and began talking about the potential negative repercussions of this decision, and also the potential opportunities that may await.
Like me, Amy wants to know how this is going to turn out? She wants the assurance that if she trades this thing in, something better will come out of it, and that she won’t end up empty handed. Don’t we all live that way a lot of the time? The faith part of our belief is tough to exercise when something or someone we love is at risk. That’s when our faith really shows itself. Too many seasons have shown me how my faith is lacking.
I was telling Amy how The Lord has operated in my life. That almost every time the tension is brewing in a problem that needs to be solved, my faith is required of me, BEFORE I know how the story ends. We pray. We listen. We seek wise counsel from select people who love us and know our primary goal is following Jesus, not sitting in safety.
Then we put our YES on the table and he uses it.
Sometimes the yes is peachy and an enormous gift. Other times great sacrifice is required, but EVERY time I am thankful that we put our YES on the table.
As I enter a new season of uncertainty, asking for wisdom and direction from Him, He reminded me of his faithfulness. Right now as we wonder, is our family complete or will we adopt again? If we adopt again what path will we choose? Amidst these questions, I really want to say:
God I need you to heal me and restore my body to health. How can it be wise for us to take on another child, most likely older, who will need their new momma to be available for lots of hugs and patience? Is this irresponsible? Lord you know there is more movie watching going on right now than I am comfortable with. What do I do with this? Please lead me and Jon in wisdom and discernment.
He didn’t give me an answer, but I know that my yes is on the table and in time the tension and uncertainty will make a beautiful story. It will be a story that tells of his perfect love through a good time or a hard time. After living a bit in limbo with almost twins through adoption, an easier and more predictable life is showing itself. With this comes settling in to comfort and man it feels nice after long years in infertility, adoption and then two babies. As much as I want to cling to this comfort, I know a safe predictable life is not the story God is telling in our family. (And it isn’t something that he promises of I those who love him.) Good stories involve risk and uncertainty and I’m all in.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18
Are you facing a difficult decision?
Do you have trouble like me with discernment and waiting during the uncertainty?