by RACHEL BROWN
Fear…what a beast. I mean seriously…why is it that I struggle so much as a mom with this craziness. I feel it so much more when summer starts? Do you? Every new story of a child drowning and then there’s the new stories of secondary drowning. Goodness, every cough becomes a spike in my adrenaline. Somebody stop me…this is nuts.
I’m trying to break down the root….a few stories on why it rages. A few years ago we went to a pool baptism service. It was always a favorite day for our body…the new believers told their stories, our pastor baptized, we ate, and then the kids swam their little hearts out. Pretty much a perfect night…until….Campbell nearly drowned.
Praise God I was standing right there, an innocent step off some wonky stairs sent another little girl into panic mode and guess who was standing in her line of fire… that’s right….Campbell. When I looked over, my baby girl was in a chokehold by said panicked child and essentially drowning. I jumped in in my clothes (as every mom would) to save her.
I have really never been the same. Case number one of why summer brings fear.
Then this past weekend, we traveled to Rod’s uncle and aunt’s house to play with their “toys.” Now we have Calico critters and light sabers, but they have airplanes and motorcycles and souped up golf carts. Needless to say, it’s a fun place to VISIT..key word. Ha!
We pulled in and knowing my history with a husband who died in an airplane crash, fear, the thief, surrounded me.
Davis flew with Uncle Charlie last year and of course, here we go again, except both children wanted to go up with him. Oh my goodness, can’t we just sit on a motorcycle, get a cute picture, drink a Gatorade, dance to the jukebox in the airplane hanger and then just call it a day? Where is the fun in that?
I stood there with two kids who never even questioned if they could go up. They didn’t even ask, they just assumed it was safe because that’s what you do at Uncle Charlie’s playhouse. You know why? They have the faith of a child. They trust that God ordained their days and that today was just a chance to experience his beauty from above. It’s really a beautiful thought process and one I wish I possessed more often, especially when faced with the choice.
So they go….and I was ok. Campbell taxied off the grass strip up into the clouds. She was thrilled…talking Uncle Charlie’s ears off on the headset.
One down, one to go.
Davis hops in …totally fired up for his ride. Ready to soar, never a thought of fear in either of them. Excitement…pure unadulterated adrenaline. He was planning his next ride and journey to becoming a pilot himself before he even landed.
But, while he soared on the wings of eagles because he totally put his hope in the LORD of the universe, an ambulance comes screaming past the country road we were on waiting by the runway. The surge of terror I felt in my body was unreal.
As we live and experience this crazy thing we call life, the triggers of fear for us all are different. Airplanes, ambulances, and sirens, are all too familiar and terrifying to me. However, my Campbell and Rod were with me, so running like a lunatic after said ambulance was not really an option.
I faced the demon of fear square. Would I run or would I trust? I said to my spirit that afternoon, ‘If it is them, I still trust YOU. I know my days and your days are ordained and He knows them all.’ Would I allow myself to trust Him with that? Or would I cave to the very thing that can cripple my core beliefs, ugly mean fear?
I reflect on the day and I really am grateful. My children allowed me to see trust, my husband displayed confidence in my ability to choose to let them go with no pressure from him, and my spirit, actually His Spirit in me, chose to believe that He had us all in His hands.
I don’t want my kids to fear living their life and you don’t either.
Things will happen and we can’t explain why. Here’s what I believe and will believe this summer as we do a few more out of the ordinary adventures. Fear projected to my kids will never bless them. PLEASE HEAR ME… Healthy fear of a hot stove, being wise and careful around water with young kids and paralyzing fear are two totally different things. I want to bless my children with the truth of His word. I will believe that His perfect love will cast out my understandable and warranted fears. I will let them soar with the trust and hope of Jesus and I will borrow theirs til I can do it myself.
I will fear no evil, because HE IS WITH ME.
Do you struggle with fear as a parent?
Do articles or stories send you into a tailspin?
Or past experiences like mine?