I want to be a fun mom. I’m kind of known for being a fun mom. However, I get tired. And these kids have to be at school. And then, homework, and then they want dinner. And life is just busy!
Just because I pin 100 fun ideas doesn’t mean we are doing them all.
Do you have find this constant tension between the mom you want to be and the mom who feels so guilty when her head hits the pillow?
Believe ME – I know, because I have those days too.
Here are a few things that have helped me be a “fun mom” even when I am tired, busy, cranky, etc.
1. Set Yourself Up To Succeed
We often promise our kids or ourselves WAY more than necessary. I have finally starting using the word NO. And, it is freedom. The Best Yes is a tremendous resource for learning to say YES and NO in life. If we want to spend all of the Christmas holidays giving and serving – that is awesome. It might be reality that we do 2-3 things as a family. Or, ONE! You know your family and what you can handle during this season. We are more fun, when we are less stressed. Set your house up to succeed. Less pressure starts with us. (Preaching to myself – the queen of overcommitment here).
And my favorite is to make zero promises and just surprise them. Like on Valentines or last day of school – just fill the car or their seat with something unexpected. It takes just a few minutes and warms their hearts.
2. Let Go of High Expectations
I have such beautiful visions of what fun might look like as a family. It never turns out that way – and I finally let that stop ruining the fun. Let those kids leave in the weird outfit. Take the cookies on the easter plate during Christmas. It’s the thought! We can have more fun, when we LOWER THE BAR! Lower those expectations for yourself and for each other. We are making things way way cute out there, but they just don’t have to be every time.
This is not my best photo – but it proves a point. They asked, “Mom! Can we draw you?” And my answer, “Sure!” completely shocked them and made their day! I don’t always say “yes,” but I try to for things like this. Especially if they take the “no’s” well on the other days.
3. Schedule It
We have started scheduling Uno every night before bed. It has become a ritual and we all LOVE it. It really helps our family come together at the end of a long day. Sometimes, if I KNOW I want our kids to do something generous (like this weekend for Veteran’s Day) – I have to schedule it. “We are leaving at 11:00! And it won’t take long family! Come with me!” I am typically the ring leader of these activities and every time – they end up loving it and they get in the car and thank me for making them go.
For both of my girls, when they are “off” – I know they typically need alone time with me. I sense it and we take them on a date. Nothing fills them up like one-on-one time with a parent.
4. Fun For a Purpose
I have to really be careful about this word “fun”- does that mean our kids should just enjoy their home and think we are cool and silly? Nope, I’m not always going to be liked or their friend or the good cop. There are many days they are quite mad – because their mom often has to say “no” or have them do homework or keep them from something harmful. Fun to me is more about the way we do life. The way we experience each day and week. The way we teach. Breaking up the bad mood cycle, so that we don’t just get stuck on auto-pilot. So, that we look back and say “yes, those were long days, but such sweet, fun years.”
If you ARE NOT naturally silly, fun or creative – do not fear.
If you ARE fun, but motherhood has wiped you of all brain cells and energy – do not fear.
Try your very best not to compare yourself to me or anyone else.
Look to your heavenly Father for guidance and discernment for your family’s time and commitments.
Are you enjoying your home and your kids ?
What things could change to make that happen, if you aren’t?
What are some small ways you could infuse joy or fun into the regular routine of your day?