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How to Comfort a Friend During Loss

Do you have a friend that has lost a child? A child lost through early stages of pregnancy, late stages of pregnancy, first three weeks, first years or late in life – is a child loss. It’s beyond what my heart can comprehend.

However, one key part of friendship is empathy. I cannot say “I know” or “I’ve been there,” but I can seek to understand. I can hear her heart. I can listen. I can try to love her through every stage. I can work harder to be thoughtful and more careful with what I say and what I don’t say.


There are too many stories. My sister. My cousin.


Today, my dear friend Amber is 40+ weeks pregnant which equals misery. She is ready and waiting for her baby girl to arrive. However, she has many mixed emotions – because this is her 4th child not 3rd. Her third is in heaven. Her thoughts on this painful time have really opened my eyes to those suffering in this same way.


Today, I imagine her in sitting in this amazing nursery – waiting for her baby girl. However, I have a new lens and new perspective. Thanks to her beautiful writing, I have a peak inside loss and suffering.


Please take a moment to read her PROFOUND and beautifully captured thoughts on this moment in time.

The smell of hyacinth will always remind me of the love of a dear friend who sat beside me while I sat in bed with swollen eyes and a broken heart. God makes beauty from ashes…every time.

I pray it will meet you or a friend where you are. I pray it will comfort you in some way.


I found this photo from iMOM and these verses incredibly helpful as I want to support others well.

15 Verses of Comfort For Those Suffering (iMOM)

Photo source: iMOM


Take a moment to encourage my Amber today. We’ve all been over 40 weeks and OVER IT. Some of you have been pregnant for more than a year and know her hurt well.


I love you Amber. This baby girl has the strength of her mama. I know it.

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  1. God has amazing timing. My friend has just lost one of her precious twins. The baby boy passed away before they could get him out at 32 weeks via emergency c-section. Little girl is ok and fighting. Tiny but mighty. Mom is not doing well at all. How do you rejoice in mourning? How to be happy and sorrowful? My heart breaks for her. I just don’t know how to help. Even though I suffered two early miscarriages, I know I am not qualified. I just pray and try to be her friend. Thank you for sharing this story.

  2. I love this for so many reasons. Ironically I just posted on my Blog about my journey through the loss of 4 babies and how God has blessed me through my grief. Thank you for bringing attention to early pregnancy loss. Too many women are not treated as if they are Moms since they did not get to hold their baby. Just told “These things happen” and to “Try again”….but our hearts ache for the one we do not get to hold. Seek comfort in knowing they were received by our Father and rejoice as we hold them in Heaven. My Blog post is called “Lost and Found” at http://iheartmyeclecticlife.blogspot.com/. Thank you for sharing her story and I completely enjoy following your Blog!

  3. I applaud you for posting about this topic and having a desire to empathize with others. From the grieving mother’s standpoint {we lost our first son at 38 weeks and most recently miscarried at 8 weeks, but I am blessed with 2 healthy babies in my home}, it lightened the heavy load I was bearing to have someone come alongside me to empathize. It’s hard to do because it means taking on the pain of someone else and being willing to go to those “dark places,” but we are to rejoice as others rejoice and grieve as others grieve. Thanks for being willing to talk about this – I think we have a huge opportunity to minister to women if we are only willing.

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