I Take Way Too Much Credit & Blame

Tell me I am not alone. If they fail at a test, or skin their knee or basically … if anything goes wrong. I blame myself. I had a mentor once tell me, “If you take credit for all their good – you will have to take credit for their bad.”

Let that sink in for a minute. I don’t like either scenario. On their greatest days – I didn’t do it. Because I know I’m just a flawed mom doing my best. It’s because they are awesome and God is awesome. On their worst day – maybe they goofed or I goofed – but I SHOULD NOT take all the blame.

As our kids grow, their individual and unique making becomes more obvious. You really can see how they were made with their own strengths and weaknesses . It can be a humbling experience or a prideful experience. If they are soaring on the field or in the classroom or even spiritually  – we might even get asked, “what are you dong?” If they are bombing in any of those areas, I don’t think another parents is going to come up and ask you for tips.

So what do we do with their strengths and weaknesses – and how do we help them process those for themselves?

There are two virtues that come to mind:

1 HUMILITY – This is a real chance for us to practice humility when our kids are super GREAT  in certain areas. We should teach them how to handle the compliments. Those things are called GIFTS from above. Sure, they might practice and work hard – but I want my girls to always be able to receive compliments graciously. Teach them to point to the team or to their coach or just simply say “thank you.” And keep finding ways to give God the credit for the way he made you so strong.  On the other hand, the oppostite humbling experience is when our weaknesses are obvious. This is a chance to draw our kids to Christ. We need God when we feel weak. We don’t have to be perfect at everything – but we definitely need him more in our areas of weakness.

2. PERSEVERANCE – The idea of working hard comes up often in the area of “weaknesses.” I don’t believe in perfectly well-rounded kids – but there are some things you have to do – whether you are good at it or not. All kids have to run the track whether it’s their jam or not. This teaches peseverance. And it will build their character. There are so many moments in life that are NOT fun to watch my kid struggle through and in the end – I’m so glad they had to fight through it. To see they can do it, even it in their weakness. Because God is their strength.

Recently, Larson got way too high on an obstacle course and when she got down and told me that she just kept repeating the verse, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

I just BEAMED. We cannot physically take away hard moments from them – but we can arm them with God’s word and assure them they will get through it.

Ironically, when I asked Ella what she could say to herself during the hard moments of her foot surgery – she repeated the same verse to me. “I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME.”

I just love when God’s word becomes alive to them. When they cling to it and believe it. When they feel his power and strength.

Sweet friends, do not forget that YOU were never meant to be the perfect mom. You have amazing strengths and weaknesses. Let God be your strength. You got this.

Maybe today – give yourself and your kids the big soul hug – you don’t have to get it all right. You weren’t designed to be the SUPERSTAR at everything. It’s ok to fail. It’s ok to be weak. It’s ok to lean on God. Cheer your friends on when they excel and do not be embarrassed for how you are made. You are so loved. And so uniquely made.