I’m begging. More of YOU. Less of ME.
How’s it going?
You’re so busy.
How’s the book tour?
It seems like A LOT.
It is awesome. And it’s an awful tension.
It is such an incredible honor to travel around and share what is on my heart. Who wouldn’t love to speak and do TV appearances and promote a book? It is FUN!
However, there are parts that make me sick to my stomach.
In my quest to do a “job well done” and give it my best effort – am I coming narcissist? I fear this.
Am I spending more time thinking of other kids than my own?
Am I over sharing? Yes.
I truly want LESS OF ME. MORE YOU. Lord! I am begging.
I am crying out today that He will guide me every day during this time. I am truly wired to market things. And I believe in this message or I would’ve never said yes – but I love Jesus more than I love results and success.
So, each day and week I battle and keep going back to the cross. I am not worried about what you think – I want my motives and heart pure before my Lord.
Do you ever struggle with this tension?
Lord, please let me post less Instagrams and selfies for the LOVE.
Less of ME.
Lord, when I do share – let my motives be pure and inspire folks to know you.
More of YOU.
Lord, let me see faces over followers.
Let them read your words more than my words.
Let me spend some time on promoting and working and more time trusting you’ve got it.
Before I speak to any group, let me spend more time praying for the audience, your words and impact on their faith… then I do praying that I won’t mess up.
More of YOU. Less of ME.
Lord, work in me and teach me before I dare teach or share a tip with others.
Let me have time to live out what I am teaching.
Let me quiet my soul enough to hear you every day.
More of YOU. Less of ME.
Ironically, when I went to write this today – here was my devotion on IfEquip. Do I fear man more than I fear God? So timely.
Now, sing these two songs – so loud with me. He knows our hearts. He will meet us each day.
Do you feel this tension?
All.The.Time. My love for or applause, recognition, approval and respect are mortifying to me! But the other thing I’m noticing is how it is such a heavy burden. Because when I make it about me, I also take on the responsibility for the outcome. My words can touch a heart, but only GOD can transform a heart. It’s up to the one who can do immeasurably more than anything we can ask or imagine! You’re one step closer by knowing yourself and laying your weakness at God’s feet. Keep it up, lady!
Of course we all feel that, girl! Praying for you today…the Lord is using you in ways you’re not always made aware of (like when I share your blog w a struggling momma). Thanks for your transparency.
Daily, Courtney, daily. We all fall short daily. The awesome thing is He knows our hearts. Just keep talking to Him about it. He’s got this. And He’s working. He loves us so so much! The good, the bad and the ugly!
I am screaming YES from the top of my lungs! This is my heart right now. I am a marketer and constantly have to find the balance between what is self promotion and what is truly allowing God to use me for his promotion. More of HIM less of ME!!! I love your authenticity in sharing this. Thank you!! Keep shining bright.