Is my sister more valuable than me?
In the depths of every little girl’s heart, we wonder… is she more valuable than me?
I was speaking to the staff of Buckhead Church the other day, and the topic of comparison and gifts came up and I decided to toss the question out to my sister. My amazing, beautiful, supportive sister who came to support me – rocked the house with her answer.
Through tears, she nailed it. (It went something like this).
You know it’s hard to be her sister. ‘Court did this. Court did that. Did you see Court did that?’ But I had to come to a place – where I realize that just because she is different, that doesn’t make her more valuable. I can support her and cheer her on, for who she is.”
Drop the mic sister!
It wrecked me. Because I feel the same about her. She is extremely organized and SO ON TOP of her home. She is the most fit and gorgeous human I know – and yes, I am insanely jealous of her size O jeans. But mostly, I envy that she loves health. She enjoys eating well and exercising and I have battled weight and self image my whole life. She loves and supports her husband and her boys so well. She has margin and doesn’t get sucked into things that are distracting. She’s not busy to be busy. She’s efficient with her time. She’s not overcommitted, she’s intentional. She’s a servant leader and goes deep with the people God brings into her path.
Sisters are gifts.
I believe that having a sister if a true gift from above, but the enemy uses that gift to compare and destroy. My WISE older sister basically pushed the devil off a cliff and reminded us ALL – that God designed sisters for unconditional support.
To be cheerleaders.
To see the unique beauty and notice it.
To champion not condemn.
To encourage not discourage.
To be fiercely loyal.
Kerri and I haven’t always done this well, but our faith has grown and our love has deepened. How? We’ve allowed God to work in us and we’ve just been honest. Communicating our hurts and even where we feel silly or sad. We treasure the relationship. We treasure each other.
Her words had a ripple effect.
Her amazing words helped me affirm Ella yesterday. Here’s how that went.
Every Thursday, Ella and I do her homework and hang out – while her sister Larson does gymnasitcs. Larson is a straight-A student who kills it at gymnastics. Things come EASY for Larson in many areas. And Ella has noticed and even said, “Mom, you love her more.”
Ella is not a gymnast, but she’s a beautiful dancer. Equal talent, just different. She is doing well at 3rd grade, but not straight A’s – because you know what? 3rd grade is hard!!!
“Ella – can I tell you about a conversation I had with Kerri the other day? It was about being different and if that’s ok. Do you think Larson is more valuable to me? To God? Do you think you are both equally bright and athletic and pretty? Having a sister is hard – let me tell you. But it’s also the best gift ever. I want you to try so hard not to compare. Her grades should never impact you. We are not comparing. We couldn’t love you more or less than we do today. God is the same. He made me and Kerri different and he made you and Larson different. Have you ever watched Aunt Kerri run? Gosh I get jealous and then I have to remember that he made me different and it’s better to just cheer her on then make myself feel bad.”
She didn’t say much, but her eyes were smiling. (That was just a portion of the chat.)
I am so thankful for Kerri and her wisdom and love. I love that we are more alike than we are different.
Let Kerri’s profound message sink in your heart today – whether you have a sister or not.
Just because she is different,
that doesn’t make her more valuable.
You are valuable. You are uniquely gifted. You can try try try. And kill it. But as you are right now today, He’s crazy about you. So are your parents.
AND PLEASE… go tell your sisters (sister in laws) how much you love her today. Every detail. Specifics.
Courtney, I love you! Your words always inspire me. I don’t have a sister, but these words are beautiful. Thank you.
What a wonderful way you have honored Kerri here, shared the lesson with Ella and encouraged others. We each have a story to tell. Each valuable. Thanks for sharing yours.
I love this and know this will be helpful in raising my two girls. We all love Kerri and I am so blessed to have her in my life! You described her perfectly. So glad that we have each other!!
Enjoyed every word.
Sisters are the best!!!
This is beautifully written, Courtney and so accurate.