When I Let Go, He Moves

I have discovered there is a pattern in my life. Do you relate?

The minute I finally relinquish control over an outcome or issue in my life – God will normally pull through in some way. Maybe not the way I’d want or as quick as I’d want, but I find that He moves when I let go.

As long as I’m clinging for dear life trying to make it all go just right according to Courtney’s way… it’s just not good. It’s a power struggle between the creator of the earth who knows a better plan vs ME… one impatient human who wants it all, now.

If you haven’t discovered, I’m kind of alot. A big personality. Loud. Ambitious. Go getter. Over-achiever. Speak your mind kind of gal. Ron knew this and he married me anyway. Bless it.

I hinted “my way” LOUDLY about ….

the exact season/date/time we should get engaged.

the exact season/date/time we should get married.

the exact season/date/time we should have our first kid.

the exact season/date/time we should have our second kid.

 

He didn’t totally let me win and actually did propose on his time frame, but I know I’m capable of too much. I can manipulate and move and persuade. Truer words have never been spoken from My Big Fat Greek Wedding:

The man is the head of the house, but the woman is the neck. She can move him which ever way she wants.”

So, it came to pass that I thought Ron should get baptized. He has been growing like CRAZY in our faith since we got married. I knew where his heart stood – but he didn’t really see the need and didn’t really get excited about the thought of doing a video (how our Atlanta church did it). Public attention isn’t Ron’s thing. I brought it up occasionally. Possibly put a CD about it on his desk. Yikes.

Don’t try these tactics at home.

Then, years passed. Meanwhile, the dude is killing it in our home. Leading well – loving Jesus and serving him. I am a blessed woman. I mean it.

This year, Ella brought up the idea of baptism  and I got really pumped at the thought of Ella and Daddy going it together. Ron said “yes – I’d do that!” Sweet!! And I knew he really liked the way our church did it – beach baptism.

So, fast forward. Ella punks out.

Ella and I had attended one of the baptism classes and had some talks. She already believes, but wasn’t quite ready to make this step. I said, “no problem!” ‘And then she said, “Mom are you mad?”

I have to assure her. I AM NOT MAD! And I mean it. This is her decision and I truly want it to be when she is ready.

So we go on Sunday for the Summit Church Beach Baptism (coolest church service ever) to see her friend Harper get baptized and I was leaving a little frazzled because it was a busy week ahead. My neighbor Kelsey says, “I bet God has a surprise for you.”

We get to the beach. Kids are playing. I’m fist pumping that Harper. I’m LOVING that we went. I think that’s my surprise from God. A restful, peaceful day at the beach actually enjoying my sweet kids and husband and church community.

Then, I had a minor heart attack

Ron comes around the corner beaming and holds up his arm with a blue band. He walked himself right up to the info desk and registered himself to get baptized TODAY!

YOU GUYS. THE JOY IN MY SOUL!!!!

I don’t think I’ve ever been more surprised in my life. God did this. Ron made this decision on his own – and truly not from me pushing him into this day. It was probably at least 8 years from the first time I tried that.

I wish I had not pushed him to do anything in my life. Because the JOY I felt on that beach was beyond what I can describe. When HE makes it happen and when RON is willing – oh Lord! How awesome.

When I let go, He moves.

The moment Ella decided she wanted to wait, I assumed Ron was out – because he was doing it for her. This decision he made shocked me.

I want this same feeling for my kids! A forced faith is headed for fizzle. This has to be a choice our kids make. We can guide, support and suggest – but nagging and forcing cannot be part of it.

Let’s help them experience who we know. Let’s live it out more than we lecture. Let’s love them for who they ARE not who we want them to be. Let’s worry more about becoming more like Jesus ourselves than trying to always fix up the other person.

Thank you LORD for letting me experience this day. I want more of that. Help me with my tight grip. Let it loosen every day. I like your plan, timing and ways so much better than mine.

Clearly the kids were completely moved – please look at their faces. Is Larson always a scene in a comedy movie?

 

Oh – and if the day wasn’t cool enough?!

My pastor baptized his 80-something year old grandmother. Good grief. Greatest thing ever.