A letter to a new mom
by Ashley Eiler
The place where you are is most definitely not only hard for so many reasons, but conflicting as well. You won’t be here for long but as you will see that too is OK. It is precarious the place between savoring every moment and moving on. As a new mom is it sometimes unimaginable to actually do for yourself or think of needs outside your child. Your new baby is your absolute everything…seriously it takes your breath away.
When they are good it makes the angels sing.
When they scream you might just jump off the roof.
Like I said, it is precarious – do I maintain who I was? What if I miss a moment? Do I risk missing a moment? I must, but what you will find is that that sweet baby is yours until Jesus says otherwise. You can’t stop time at all, but sitting to dwell and savor doesn’t work either because you lose yourself. Your regular self is gone, but yet it now seems important because your new baby needs to know YOU – needs you to be you so that you can be loved even more than you already are.
A huge part of parenting is walking through life being who God wants you to be while they watch. Doing what needs to be done while they watch…serving, loving, and obeying. While it feels like you are missing things when you leave strangely enough everything is exactly the same as when you left. Children adapt well and are super resilient – they need other people too.
As a mom we think they just need us but God didn’t design it that way- that is why there is a dad. Dad’s HAVE to do the work – soothe, feed, snuggle, and most definitely struggle to win their affection. Let them do this part for there is a great reward. What would a mother do without that great reward – well I will tell you… She would miss what God intended as one of the greatest miracles. Dads need that privilege. Babies need that too.
So while work may seem futile it is important – it is the means with which we live… Babies need to adapt and change – respect and sleep. Mothers need to learn that they are crucial not just when holding. Maybe it is a trust thing – but kids need their moms to make great decisions – not just good- about who cares for them so that they can be well adjusted and exposed to lots of ways of the word RIGHT. If you are a working mom- you are every bit as good as the one who stays home.
When a child learns that there are many ways to skin a cat that is a good day – a mother teaches which way is best, kind, and efficient. A mother has their place no matter. But, even when the most precious child is born the world still spins on its axis- and doesn’t stop even tho you want it to with all of your might. Dear mom who goes to work, you are the most important for you are the first introduction a child has to Jesus but rest knowing that while you are most important life does carry on even tho the purest love takes your breath away. Be a great mom, be a good mom, but don’t quit breathing when you drive away even if it is just to target.
YOU are most definitely enough in whatever capacity your life allows. Be encouraged sister.
Mom of a 12 year old boy & 9 year old girl
oh my friend…such wise words…such wise GOOD words!!!