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Love Is Inefficient


The other day I was listening to a Catalyst Podcast and Brad Lomenick was interviewing Bob Goff. Two amazing leaders whom I admire so much.  (If you haven’t read Love Does by Bob Goff you need to pick it up.  In fact, I’m going to do a giveaway because I just think this book is so good and encouraging no matter where you are in your journey.)


Anyway, during the interview Lomenick was asking Goff the motivation behind him putting his personal cell phone number in the back of the book? I mean doesn’t he get bombarded with phone calls all the time? In fact he said he does and in the middle of the interview his phone rang with someone calling him that he had never met and he picked the phone up right in the middle of the interview! It was crazy and amazing all at the same time.


It was a paradigm shift for me, because that is the total opposite of how I behave. I tend to want to put everything neatly into a schedule, and carve out time for the people most important to me, while becoming less available to others. Bob made the statement that ‘Love is Inefficient,’ and just like that everything changed. We have always heard that when we are loving our kids it’s quantity time that leads to quality time, but still in this age of technology and iPhones, it’s hard to shed the drive to be efficient. But, relationships happen in the margin, and for that reason, I can’t expect for my love to happen efficiently.


Earlier in the year, our pastor did a series where he challenged us to look at our lives and decide what we needed more of, what we needed less of, what we needed to take out completely and what we needed to add? This could be in the context of relationships, responsibilities, habits, hobbies or anything.


For me, I realized I needed to be less attached to my phone, more intentional about reading my Bible and not just spiritual books, and mostly I needed to be more strategic with my time.


It has taken me a long time and I am still on this journey to make these things a reality in my daily life, but there they sit on the side of my refrigerator as a sort of accountability for how I am spending my most valuable resource, my time.


After hearing from Bob Goff about love being inefficient and having the prompting to be more strategic with my time I realized I am still not doing that well yet, and if I’m not being strategic with my time then likely there isn’t the margin I need to have inefficient love with my family and those God has put in my circle of influence.


Today, I am realizing I need to back out of a few commitments.

I need to say no to at least one, and maybe two moms groups.  It’s fun for me, but it is time that I could be taking my girls to the park or just being around my house doing life with my kids. In this season of my life I have to really weigh whether or not another Bible study is what I need? I have been walking with The Lord for many years and for me, and I know this isn’t true for everyone, but I need to be Jesus to others, more than I need to be in another group. I need those two hours every week to have the flexibility to show up for a momma in need or hug on my babies.


I pray that I can have peace with inefficiency. That I would be free and alert to notice when my children are struggling. To have enough margin so that I stop to look other mommas in the eye and really see if when they say that they are okay to be able to see, is there is pain in their eyes? To be moving through my life slowly enough, so that I can see what God is doing around me, and so that I can notice when people like Michelle, (check out her story here,) need a hand, and have the margin to show up and be the hands and feet of Jesus. It’s here that I really come alive. It’s being swept up in God’s story that contentment sets in deeply and I feel alive and at peace.


Is there something that you need to add in more of to your life?


Is there something that you need to cut out completely or cut back on?


Let’s be intentional with our most valuable asset. TIME



Love Does by Bob Goff

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One winner selected – contest ends Sunday.

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  1. I can’t wait to read this book. What an inspiration. I know I need to make some of those decisions in my life as well.

  2. What a great reminder! I am trying to be better about this. This sounds like an awesome book!

  3. The changes you outlined sound verrry similar to the ones I need to make. Less facebook, more Bible…yep, that about sums it up.

  4. Wow, what a moving, life-changing book this could be.What a blessing it would be yo win a copy. Thanks for the opportunity.

  5. Your comment about having enough unstructured time to be available for others really spoke to me. That includes being available to my little girls. After working all day, I’m exhausted already, then having to rush home to get to another activity is stressful for all of us. Thanks for the reminder to prioritize.

  6. ash. this is a great post!
    cannot wait for my five hour drive with you and your wisdom and heart and awesomeness!!!
    love you friend!

  7. I am right there with ya, needing to scale back on a few things to be more available for my loved ones and those in need…

  8. Would love to read this book! I was just trying to explain this subject to my husband today… my toddler and I were invited to a playdate during the older child’s preschool time. Usually we stay at home playing, cuddling and I clean up the house a bit. Going to someone else’s house was lovely… but I feel like doing that sort of thing too often is just too much for me and my family. My babe needs some one on one time with his mama and I need to clean the house… no matter how nice it is to chat with girlfriends. Its so hard to find the right balance..

  9. I would really love to read this book! I just heard about Bob Goff, recently (gasp, i know!), I can’t wait to hear more from him!

  10. As a SAH mum to two kids I constantly feel the need to fill every moment of my day with busyness in order to achieve a sense of purpose amongst all the “non-productive” time ie. all the stuff I do that needs to be redone the next day – tidying/cooking/transporting kids. I need to re-prioritize what I spend my energy and focus on and would love this book as a tool to help me figure out what’s important at this stage of my life. Thanks for the post!

  11. wow. i loved this.
    the book is on my summer reading list.
    i can so resonate with your thoughts/feelings about him putting his cell phone number in the back of the book. Say what???

    I’m a people person..I will almost always choose people over a task, but I can’t say I’d put my cell phone number in the back of a book..that is remarkable and very challenging.

    picking up the book today.

  12. This sounds like a fabulous book! I’m at a place in my life where I am trying to simplify many things in order that I can focus on what is more important. This book seems to develop that theme further. Thanks for sharing it. 🙂

  13. Wow, this book sounds amazing! I need to add more spontaneity and flexibility in my life. I need to let the house get messy and cherish the times with my kiddos. I’d be honored to win and read this book 🙂


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