My Son is Being Bullied
So, I’ll just go ahead and be upfront and honest about it. My son is being bullied.
And it’s been going on for some time. I didn’t even hear about it from my son. I heard about it from the teacher.
When I first asked my son about it and he looked down at the ground and said, “yeah.” in this quiet, sad voice, my heart just hurt. My mama bear instinct saw visions of grabbing up those two boys and just shaking them. My heart hurt worse as he described what was going on and said he just didn’t know what do to. I didn’t know what to do at that moment either. So, I asked if I could pray for him. He said yes, we prayed, and he slowly walked away.
We talked to our son about a variety of possible responses. We talked to the teacher about a variety of solutions. We prayed.
That was two months ago.
IT hasn’t stopped. In fact, it’s gotten worse.
It hurts just thinking about this. It hurts to write about it and see these things on the screen.
The other day, after another conference with the teacher and then talking to a close friend, my husband and I sat down to discuss it.
We both decided we don’t know exactly what to do. We decided just to wait a bit longer and pray more. Since then, my heartache for my son hasn’t stopped.
But God has revealed how His hand is in this. But God…
Ever since the last conference with the teacher, Matthew 5:44 has been impressed upon me.
But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you
Nope, I did not want to do this. Nor did I want to tell my son to do it, despite that was what the Lord clearly wanted. However, after procrastinating for two days, an opportunity came up for my son and I to talk about this. Without even really thinking about what I was going to say, I grabbed a Bible and showed him the verse. He said he wanted to pray for them.
So we prayed. We prayed hard.
Blessing #1: Learning how to truly pray for others.
My son is not very confrontational. I have to ask him about these things. He doesn’t like to talk about them. But every. Single. Time. At the end of whatever happened that day he says (and names have been changed here), “Joey, Andy, and Will stood with me” or “Joey, Andy, and Will told Jimmy and Jason to cut it out” or “Joey, Andy, and Will said ‘let’s go do this instead’”.
Blessing #2: Friendship. The Lord has blessed my son with friends who will stand up for him and stand beside him during hard times. These boys are eight. I don’t even think they understand how important their actions are. But my son is starting to. And I definitely do.
It is my prayer now that, out of this experience, a better, fuller understanding of God’s grace, God’s mercy, and the kindness of others is what my sons is going to walk away with.
Dear Lord, please bless Jack’s time at school, guiding his path, creating opportunities for him to be a light for You and experience Your love as well. Open his heart and mind to receive the lessons and blessings You desire for him. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
How have you dealt with bullying?
Any tips or advice you’d share with another mother?
This is one of those places where it’s hard to be the mama! What a wonderful moment for both him and you to be able to grow in your faith. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
http://forthisisthetime.com/
Thank you!
We dealt with this for months this winter. I tried to make sure that every other weekend we invited someone over so at least he’d feel like he had someone to talk to at school. Thankfully it has gotten better but it’s an absolutely gut wrenching feeling.
Praying for you and your sweet boy.
And War Eagle!
War Eagle!! And thank you for your prayers. It is a heartbreaking situation, but the Lord is faithful and His way is always good!
so glad that he has good friends to stand up for him and with him!!
Thank you! I am too!
My heart ached with you as I read this. I was mentally prepared for girls to be hard on each other at an early age and have been shocked that the ‘little boy pecking order” stuff seems much worse. LOVE how you are walking through this with Jack. Parying for ya’ll (and those bullies) this morning!
Thank you so much. I am so appreciative of these prayers! You know, when dealing with this, my husband and I kept saying, “we don’t know what else to do but pray.” But, honestly, what else could be more right. The Lord is so faithful.
Emily~
I do not know you – I came across your blog and have followed you for sometime now. I want to say first how sorry I am that this is happening. It hurts my heart to hear of anyone who is being bullied. I will tell you that I will pray for your son and your family. I have a four year old grandson who we are teaching not to be a bully as well as what to do if someone is bullying him. It is sad that we are even having to talk about such things. When I was in elementary school I was bullied by 3 older boys – I was told by others not to worry about it they were just doing it because they liked me! Well liked me or not every single day after school I would literally run home! My heart hurt from pounding and I was terrified what they might do to me. That happened to me many years ago and to this day I still think about it and feel it as if it was yesterday. I am thankful that your sons teacher has reached out to you and that you are talking with him about what to do and how to handle himself. I think with your love and guidance he will come through this a strong young man!
Thank you so much! I appreciate your prayers. Unfortunately, dealing with adversity is a part of life, but situations like ours and yours are just heartbreaking.
I have loved seeing God’s faithfulness as this situation has played out with Jack. I love your son and his heart!
Loved reading your story, thanks for sharing! My son was bullied in kindergarten- where all kids are still little and shouldn’t even have to worried about that! The kid was smaller then him but was choking my son and saying he was going to kill my son. We didn’t find out until my son and I were reading the commandments one morning and he asked what murder meant. I told him and hr said that’s what this bully said he was going to do to my son. After the shock wore off I prayed and talked to the teacher, she just rolled her eyes and said they’re boys. I talked to the principle and that didn’t work. I found out it was a worse then I thought through the bullies parents. They came up to me and said they were sorry for what their son had been doing to my son and I didn’t even know any of what they were talking about. I didn’t know the extent of it. It still didn’t stop. I ended up talking to the parents again and that didn’t work. We ended up pulling him from that private Christian school and put him in a dif school. My son learned a lot about what true friends are and who not to hang around with.
Oh my goodness. What an awful thing and in kindergarten too! I can’t believe the other parents knew and seemed helpless to stop it! I hope your son is enjoying his new school.
My heart aches when I hear about little kids being bullied. You feel helpless. You are so right in that you have to go the Lord with this. My family will say a special prayer for your little one. My son was bullied as well…I did a short post on it and the scriptures we found helpful. Here’s the link.
http://www.browneyedgirlygirl.com/2011/11/why-cant-kids-just-be-nice/
Thank you and thank you for passing along your story. I am amazed to hear about how many people have experienced this as well. While I hate that it’s happened to others, it is an encouragement to me to know I’m not alone.
I can understand the Mama Bear feeling. My son plays golf & is in choir & is such a great kid & often gets bullied with words by some of the jocks. That’s right though.. we are aware, awake & will pray & do what we need to for our little loves!
Thank you for your encouragement. It’s nice to know I have the support and compassion of other mamas out there!
Oh girl this breaks my heart reading this!! Seriously so awful that he has to deal with this already. But also what an awesome awesome lesson he is learning now. I had a bully in high school that I just did not know what to do about and after I read that very same verse I prayed for her and also ended up giving her a little valentine (that I was also giving to my other friends) after that she never picked on me again. I hope your son’s story has a happy ending soon too. So glad he has friends standing up for him.
When my son was going through this, we prayed and prayed and finally started homeschooling him because the bullying was breaking his spirit. Now since being homeschooled (we started in 6th grade and he just graduated this year), he has flourished and come alive again. He is so well rounded and one of the best 18 year olds that I know. Do what you need to do for your son. Praying for you and your family!