i’ve been thinking about my word for 2014.

do you do that? chose a word?

i feel like it’s sorta like the north star. a word that will guide me when i get off track. when i get lost in somewhere between priorities of what really matters & the never ending to do list.

a word that i can use like a level making sure my motives are in alignment with my heart.

i thought about several words. i kinda wanted something cool. how weird is that? like create. or discover. seek. but each time i thought of one i realized that word just wasn’t quite it. wasn’t quite enough. i couldn’t find a word that would hold up it’s end of the bargain in being like an umbrella for my thought life, for my work, for how i spend my time. a tall order. i realize this.

as you might imagine, a home full of 5 women isn’t always full of kind words & gentle, turning away wrath, answers. while we’re not jerry springer worthy, there are emotions & feelings and temperments and birth order all as players on the field each day. on one particular day i was pretty frustrated with one of the girls and probably being selfish and immature in my dealings with her. later that day i was thinking about quiet time and how much time i spend with the lord each day. i was still trying to find my word, you know. i was thinking about work & goals. i was thinking about a situation where i don’t think i’ve been treated very professionally by a fellow professional who also happens to be a friend. i was giving myself a pep talk on how i might respond to her when this aforementioned situation arises again in a few weeks.

and then i realized. while i’m sure it’s cliche and could possibly sound all fluffy i realized exactly what my word for 2014 needed to be. i realized that in all things , my heart, my motivation, my responses and how i spend my time always falls under the umbrella of this word.

love.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. who wants to be a loud annoying clanging cymbal. if how i respond to this above mentioned person in anything other than love, all she’s gonna hear is the sound of an annoying clanging cymbal.

if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. if i spend my time doing all that is right and i keep a list of rules in my head of a good christian but i don’t love people or i don’t respond out of love, i’m nothing. the lists of right & wrong doesn’t even matter.

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. if with my house full of teenage females if i’m not patient with them. if i’m not kind in how i respond to them, then what good is anything i’ve done if it isn’t done out of love first.

when i spend time with the lord it’s out of love not an obligation.

on nights when i’ve gone to bed and fears & thoughts of what if’s cloud my logic, i sing to myself the simple words, “jesus loves me. this i know”. this is what i know. that truth, that fact, THAT is what i know is true. not all the little seemingly larger than life, fearful thoughts.