When Rejection Is Very Real

My sweet friend Lysa is writing her next book on rejection and asked for some thoughts. I never assume because she is HUGELY popular that she couldn’t use my input. So, I sent her many of these thoughts.

This is why I love writing. It’s like cheap therapy. I can process through some things and I like where the Lord takes my heart. From a hard place to a healing place.

My rejection lately looks like empty events or “no” to ideas – what does your rejection look like?

  • A friend that won’t call you back?
  • A promotion given to someone else?
  • A group of friends that leaves you out?
  • A “no response” when you attempt to make a new mom friend?
  • A real NO to a book proposal or product?
  • A husband not looking your way?

Rejection comes in so many forms. We can all relate to this awful feeling. Just this week, I had an event at a local store. One of my friends came, Carey Phillips. And no one else. In my head – I KNOW the truth. My friends and local followers love the products and they love me. They have families. They are preserving their school nights to focus on priorities. It is not personal.

I had prepared a message that I was so excited about – and there wasn’t an audience to hear it. So, I’m saving it for one of the events coming up this quarter. Not wasted time.

Just because my head knows the truth – doesn’t mean my heart has caught up. It feels crummy. I apologized profusely to the store owner who was probably hoping for a big night of traffic. There were a handful of older ladies in the community that came by and truthfully I had the BEST time talking with them. The owner’s sister REALLY touched my heart and the idea of adoption and how it happened later for her. So, the night was worth it.

As I think back through the last three years – I have really stuck myself out there and that feels vulnerable. Are you stuck holding tight to a dream because you fear those rejection spots? Are in the midst of a vulnerable season and the rejection is very real to you?


Ways God Has Encouraged My Heart on Rejection.



(Photo source)

He knows the bigger picture.

I got a big NO from a major product developer just after ABC Scripture Cards went big. It felt crummy – but His timing was way better. He knew I was supposed to hold off and eventually partner with Magnolia Lane. When rejection doesn’t make sense – just remember he could be using that NO to pave the way for the better opportunity.

Enemy plays in your mind. Let Jesus fill your heart.

Rejection is a battle of our minds. We believe the worst about ourselves. We do not give the benefit of the doubt to friends (they are busy, they didn’t see it, etc.) The enemy can dance all through our head with lies – our fears get magnified with our security lies in the opinions of others. When I am grounded in the truth of God’s love and my worth according to the Bible – those lies are more easily tossed. Let Jesus fill your heart with the truth.

Practice Filtering

The voices in our head are really loud. We can either believe the things our kids say about us (you’re mean), or the words our friends say in sarcasm, or the lies the enemy tosses our way – or we can believe the truth. Praying today that you hear God’s voice above them all. You are loved, made for a purpose, forgiven, adored, accepted. Spend time in Ephesians 1-3 today. It encouraged me.


Fiction vs Non Fiction

We can often believe we truly have been rejected and it’s just not true. Someone may have missed the email or didn’t see the photo or they are frankly just not thinking of you today. That’s OK! Most people have such full lives – they couldn’t even plot to reject you if they wanted to. They are way busy in their own mess and life. So, give the benefit of the doubt to others and assume the best. So, is this really even a rejection? True or false?

Your Worth

Your worth is not defined by the no’s. Just because no one could come to my event is not a signal of the worth of my ministry or products. I just need to learn from it – and what’s a good use of time. When I speak to big mom events, people are already signed up and they don’t know me really. These are my favorites. Sharing with my heart through a message and then the products are just there if they need them. Just use the rejection moments to analyze your decisions – but never use it to analyze your worth.
Rejection can be won in the security of Christ. Is our audience others or just the one we were made to love?

Let’s Vow Together!

  • We need to fight to hear God’s voice above others.
  • We need to surround ourselves with truth-tellers who are pointing us back to Christ when we question our worth.
  • We need to give ourselves the grace that we give others.
  • We need to believe the best about each other and ourselves.


You are so very loved. By me and your God. Keep going brave ones.

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  1. Love this, friend. Every bit of it. Just printed it for future. 🙂 Think this is my favorite…”Our fears get magnified when our security lies in the opinions of others. When I am grounded in the truth of God’s love and my worth according to the Bible – those lies are more easily tossed.” AMEN AMEN AMEN! Thanks so much for your honest sharing.

  2. Oh, did I need this today! I feel as though I have “launched into the deep” in so many ways, and it’s scary. Even allowing myself to pray for things…even a relationship…and knowing God may answer “no” is hard. But it constantly draws me back to God, and every step of faith gives me courage for the next one.

  3. This was my week this week! Fighting thoughts! Winning and losing battles of my mind and constantly choosing Joy! Thanks for the post. I try to remind myself that even though everyone is constantly busy, they aren’t trying to not be a friend. I just wonder if we consume ourselves so much with the everyday that we miss fellowshipping with those we need to. I also realize God opens other doors of friendship and that He ultimately fills me in my darkest hour. Everyday I pray God helps me through this. It is definite one of my greatest struggles.

  4. WOW!!! You stopped me in my tracks today! I have been feeling that yucky feeling of rejection all week! Thanks for helping me know it is okay and some ways to move on from it. You are doing important work every.single.day! Thank you, Courtney!

  5. i’m the friend who didn’t call back!!!
    (hanging head in shame)
    so very sorry!

    i love your moments of how you make beautiful from moments of feeling yuckers. you are awesome courtney!

  6. Oh my gracious if you ever come speak anywhere near Richmond, VA you better let me know so I can come give you a big ole hug!
    Most of my rejection lies in my mind and not among others. I fight it daily. But I am learning to live redeemed. I fit in all the time because I’m HIS!

  7. Thanks so much for all you share!!!!!! My sister is going through a difficult “season” and I enjoyed sharing with her your inspiring words!!!! You are amazing!!!!!

  8. Love this because, well, you know… That time at She Speaks. And the tears. And you coming to encourage me and bring Carmen along for some good laughs. Thanks for helping me transcend the rejection. Thankful for that!

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