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Courtney DeFeo

Creator & Ideator. Motivator for Families. Cheerleader for Loving & Serving

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When Rejection Is Very Real

January 23, 2015 //  by Courtney

My sweet friend Lysa is writing her next book on rejection and asked for some thoughts. I never assume because she is HUGELY popular that she couldn’t use my input. So, I sent her many of these thoughts.

This is why I love writing. It’s like cheap therapy. I can process through some things and I like where the Lord takes my heart. From a hard place to a healing place.

My rejection lately looks like empty events or “no” to ideas – what does your rejection look like?

  • A friend that won’t call you back?
  • A promotion given to someone else?
  • A group of friends that leaves you out?
  • A “no response” when you attempt to make a new mom friend?
  • A real NO to a book proposal or product?
  • A husband not looking your way?

Rejection comes in so many forms. We can all relate to this awful feeling. Just this week, I had an event at a local store. One of my friends came, Carey Phillips. And no one else. In my head – I KNOW the truth. My friends and local followers love the products and they love me. They have families. They are preserving their school nights to focus on priorities. It is not personal.

I had prepared a message that I was so excited about – and there wasn’t an audience to hear it. So, I’m saving it for one of the events coming up this quarter. Not wasted time.

Just because my head knows the truth – doesn’t mean my heart has caught up. It feels crummy. I apologized profusely to the store owner who was probably hoping for a big night of traffic. There were a handful of older ladies in the community that came by and truthfully I had the BEST time talking with them. The owner’s sister REALLY touched my heart and the idea of adoption and how it happened later for her. So, the night was worth it.

As I think back through the last three years – I have really stuck myself out there and that feels vulnerable. Are you stuck holding tight to a dream because you fear those rejection spots? Are in the midst of a vulnerable season and the rejection is very real to you?

 

Ways God Has Encouraged My Heart on Rejection.

 

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(Photo source)

He knows the bigger picture.

I got a big NO from a major product developer just after ABC Scripture Cards went big. It felt crummy – but His timing was way better. He knew I was supposed to hold off and eventually partner with Magnolia Lane. When rejection doesn’t make sense – just remember he could be using that NO to pave the way for the better opportunity.

Enemy plays in your mind. Let Jesus fill your heart.

Rejection is a battle of our minds. We believe the worst about ourselves. We do not give the benefit of the doubt to friends (they are busy, they didn’t see it, etc.) The enemy can dance all through our head with lies – our fears get magnified with our security lies in the opinions of others. When I am grounded in the truth of God’s love and my worth according to the Bible – those lies are more easily tossed. Let Jesus fill your heart with the truth.

Practice Filtering

The voices in our head are really loud. We can either believe the things our kids say about us (you’re mean), or the words our friends say in sarcasm, or the lies the enemy tosses our way – or we can believe the truth. Praying today that you hear God’s voice above them all. You are loved, made for a purpose, forgiven, adored, accepted. Spend time in Ephesians 1-3 today. It encouraged me.

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 (Photo source)

Fiction vs Non Fiction

We can often believe we truly have been rejected and it’s just not true. Someone may have missed the email or didn’t see the photo or they are frankly just not thinking of you today. That’s OK! Most people have such full lives – they couldn’t even plot to reject you if they wanted to. They are way busy in their own mess and life. So, give the benefit of the doubt to others and assume the best. So, is this really even a rejection? True or false?

Your Worth

Your worth is not defined by the no’s. Just because no one could come to my event is not a signal of the worth of my ministry or products. I just need to learn from it – and what’s a good use of time. When I speak to big mom events, people are already signed up and they don’t know me really. These are my favorites. Sharing with my heart through a message and then the products are just there if they need them. Just use the rejection moments to analyze your decisions – but never use it to analyze your worth.
Rejection can be won in the security of Christ. Is our audience others or just the one we were made to love?
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(Photo source)
 

Let’s Vow Together!

  • We need to fight to hear God’s voice above others.
  • We need to surround ourselves with truth-tellers who are pointing us back to Christ when we question our worth.
  • We need to give ourselves the grace that we give others.
  • We need to believe the best about each other and ourselves.

 

You are so very loved. By me and your God. Keep going brave ones.

Category: A Better Me, Blogging

About Courtney

Courtney DeFeo is most known for being a factory of ideas for families. It’s her desire to lead a life that radiates God’s love in action and His grace along the way. As a former marketing professional for corporations such as Chick-fil-A and Ketchum Public Relations, Courtney has a history of creating memorable programs and ideas that motivate others to action. She is the author of In This House, We Will Giggle, creator of ABC Scripture Cards and Virtue Cards and the kindness movement Light ‘Em Up Acts. Her latest project is a community for tween girls and their moms - found at TreasuredGirlz.com. Her house is a wreck and she hates to cook. She adores her hot, patient husband. She posts entirely too many photos of her two girls on Instagram. Connect with Courtney anytime: Twitter • Website • Facebook • Instagram

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