When to say yes, no or maybe

Have you heard these sayings around town or the internet lately?


#thebestyes,  #ifgathering, #ifequip, #ifpray, #iftable


You guys! There is SO MUCH content and good stuff going on around this world – it makes my head almost explode. And, for heavens sakes, I am one of the hyperactive contributors. I get overwhelmed and then I am so thankful – we have never had more opportunity at our fingertips – but it takes great discernment. When to hear God – to know if it’s for us. Is it a YES or a NO? or a MAYBE?

Can I go ahead and let you pass on this one if it’s not for you?

This post is for…

– Women in Orlando … or…

– Those having trouble saying yes/no


If you don’t fit in those categories, close it down. Don’t fill your mind with things you don’t need. Come back another day!


Like many of you, I see so many great things out there. And I truly struggle with how to respond…



Not Now.

Maybe Later.

No Thank You.

Yes I’d love to but… here’s all I have to give.


I’m not alone in my struggles. It’s why Lysa’s book The Best Yes went straight to The New York Times Bestsellers list. I may be extra looney and passionate (sharing 100 more ideas than necessary), but women are friends with the word YES. We like to do things and help and love and serve. We like to be a part of something bigger.

I get trapped here,  “if it is good and noble and Godly, then I should say YES!”

So imagine my trouble with watching IF Gathering explode! This ministry just keeps tugging at my heart during the busiest season of my life. Why can’t I just say NO!

I keep trying to search my heart. Ask God.

  • Do I like this because I think the entire leadership team is awesome?
  • Do I want to do this because it’s cool?
  • Do I truly feel a tug from above to partner with this ministry?


As I have listened to Jennie Allen continue to cast vision – I have determined I can’t say NO. The tug hasn’t gone away. I want to be apart of what they are doing. For many reasons.

The mission of IF is to gather, unleash and equip the next generation of women to live out their purpose.

They are absolutely sold out to the Lord’s will vs getting famous or making it about their personal platforms.

They are about the local church and local community.

So, I said YES and NO.

A group of 5 of us got together – who never met in our lives. Seriously, we met via the IF map – dots near Orlando. All feeling the tug that we were supposed to do something for Orlando. We didn’t know the answers or how or why or what – but we said a baby YES. We went to dinner.

We prayed together and brainstormed. We shared our common hurt and concern for women in our city that fall through the cracks. Those that are lonely – don’t know where to plug in – feel lost and need community. And we created a page to simply just start somewhere. Another small yes.




We shared our own stories and how LOCAL community was often where significant change happens. (Edited from before to clarify). I get comfortable sometimes in a silo – staying online, or reading books, or texting with best buds. Change can happen that way too for sure. I do believe omething really powerful happens when I get face-to-face with other women. Locally seems to best so the relationship continues to grow. And, you are there for each other for the messy and hard parts of life.

As I came home from that meeting, I sensed God confirming my small YES. However, this week, I woke straight up in bed – only to lay there with IF on my heart and mind for two hours. I laid there and dreamed of all the things it could be in Orlando, and then got overwhelmed at the reality of my time. So, I asked God about it. He answered. A small yes.


I made a hard phone call to Joy (one of the original 5) and told her YES, but NO – my time, family, health and own company could not allow for me to take on too much.

I told her I had a small YES. Here’s what I can do – here’s what I cannot do.

It’s all I have right now and that has to be enough.

I believe God shows up when we give what He asks and we are obedient.


Three Final Questions

1. If you are feeling tugged by IF and live in Orlando – we’d love for you to come on September 23 to the Prayer Gathering. We will be praying for our city, the women we know and don’t know and more. We are letting God lead this. Don’t be scared. You don’t have to pray out loud. It’s a group of women gathering with a small yes – when we don’t totally know where it’s headed.

Small steps of obedience with great change in mind – change in women of Orlando to know their God more closely.

2. If you are a women searching for community in Orlandocome join us. You can come too. You aren’t signing up to lead – just come pray with us and we will find a place for you to get plugged in with some other women.

3. If you struggle with saying YES and NO – will you learn from me? I am 38 and just now (sort of) getting this. I’ve said YES for way too long and paid the price. It is so much easier to be up front with your limitations. But please take time to listen to God’s nudges.


Thanks for traveling this imperfect road with me. 

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  1. Amen, Courtney! I’ve had to say no a lot lately. My church has some amazing women’s ministries going on and I am just not a part of it. It has affected my relationships with other women. But my best yes for this season is my husband and boys. God has made that clear. Am I missing out? Probably. But I look back on MY path that God has set out for ME and I see my family flourishing. Growing in Jesus. My husband and I getting past surface conversations and digging deep. Turning into “hippie Jesus followers.” Those “things of earth” becoming strangely dim. My world functions better when its smaller and directed by the one who created me and knows me. El Roi. My best friend, director of dreams and life. My Savior and proctor from… myself. 🙂 Hang with it, Courtney!

    1. paige. i LOVE this acknowledgement. unashamedly saying “im not a part of it…. am I missing out? probably.” i can say no but then sometimes i resent it and feel like i’m missing out and tend to think something’s wrong with me for not being able to juggle another thing. i am keeping my eyes on progress of and time with my husband and children and i like your no-excuses approach. i’m going to adopt that MORE. thank you for your words. and to courtney for this post. love – a fellow hippie jesus follower

      1. i love HIPPIE followers! i want to be more like you. keep on my girls. keep on following his exact call for you. clinging to him and your family. i can’t see anything wrong with that at all. love it.

  2. Great post, Courtney. My middle name used to be “sure, I’d be happy to!” I left a great career with IBM when my daughter was 2. And immediately volunteered for everything. “Sure, I’d love to chair that committee!” And although I said my worth came from Jesus, I was really seeking it from the approval of others. One day, I had trouble waking my daughter from a nap. I “had” to go and interview someone at our church since I was chairman of the personnel committee. (of course 🙂 I ended up yelling at my daughter, which was out of character to me. I put her in her car seat…she was still sobbing…and I said “What’s mommy supposed to do when you won’t obey?” My 4-year old (heavenly 2×4) pointed at my Bible and said “look in that book. See how that says you should treat me!” Busted! I started resigning from things that day!

  3. Thank you for the reminder! Yes is not always the best answer. As the school year begins and sign up sheets get passed around the reminder from God to “Be Still” is at front of my thoughts. Trying to balance it all and “manage” motherhood and family life surly was not His plan. Enjoying it, living it, and cherishing it…now that is the plan. When my planner has no empty squares to just “be still” I know its time to stop saying yes and time to start saying Lord this day is for you to show me what you want the squares to be filled with. By the way, your blog Rocks!

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