Should I stay or should I go?

Should I adopt?

Should I move?

Should I write that book?

Should I change jobs?

Should I start my own business?

When people ask me if they should write a blog or a book (or do anything big with their life) – I want to crawl under my pillow and hide. I used to love the conversations. But now I find it difficult – because the answer is quite complicated. And I almost feel responsible for the outcome. Because the beautiful exchange of leaving your comfort zone and following God is never easy, but it’s always worth it. It often involves pain and sacrifice.

When you write a book or follow any big dream – it isn’t all roses. Publishers say no, you risk rejection, you have bad days, you don’t get a contract, you question your worth, you compare – there’s a lot of junk that comes with it.

However there SO MUCH beauty that comes with sharing your story. So much beauty! Hearts are stirred – your very own life changes the most and that is worth it all. I can’t (and shouldn’t) give any of my friends or any of you the answers on which way to turn. It HAS to come from God – because only He will be worth the hard times. Only He will give you the assignment or calling that will hold you up during the uncertainty. Only He can move the mountains and make things possible for a project that He breathed into existence. There are so many things we “should do” if we look side to side at our neighbors or friends. Or, if we take one scroll through social media. But what is God asking you to do? And sometimes the answer is to stay right where you are. Sometimes, it’s to jump out of the ordinary and into something new. Only He can make that clear for each of us.

As I was worrying and thinking about this very issue – how to let go of this pressure and continue to point myself – and each of you back to Him.. my sweet friend Megan sent me the perfect story. Her story.  It’s a beautiful exchange.

A Beautiful Exchange

by Megan Nilsen

If you crack open the cover of my book, you’ll see Courtney DeFeo’s name front and center — under “endorsements” and “acknowledgements.” While we live miles apart (although we’re just a TAD closer now that she’s moved to the Lone Star State), her presence in my life has been invaluable!

We first met “randomly” when I plopped myself down in the seat next to her at the She Speaks conference because, let’s face it, Courtney and her friends looked so darn cool. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that they were, in fact, super cool — and all the things that make for insta- friends.

Courtney landed a book deal at that conference. I did not. No matter though, Courtney was the first to march herself up to my hotel room, hand me a box of kleenex and tell me that even though rejections bites, it does not necessarily determine our calling nor define who we are.

She told me I was a writer and, gosh darn it, I needed to get over myself and keep on writing. (I’m sure she was much more tactful than that, but those were the words I needed to hear.)

And so I got over myself (mostly). And kept writing.

The “powers-that-be” told me “no,” but God (through Courtney and in various other ways) told me “yes.”

Yes to writing. Yes to telling the story that burned so passionately in my heart. Yes to stepping out of my comfort zone with the anticipation God would have more in store. I just couldn’t see it all yet.

That moment epitomizes this idea of a “beautiful exchange.”

Anytime we lower the volume of our own self-centered, internal dialogue and create space for God to speak — we open ourselves up to receive something that may be altogether better and more beautiful.”

These moments are available everywhere, all the time. In the little and the big and the exciting and the mundane. There is always opportunity (at least for me!) to exchange my self-focused and often misdirected thoughts and plans for God’s gracious, hand-crafted ones.

And most of the time it’s not rocket science, but it does require a posture of humility. I’ll be back next week on Courtney’s blog to give you another story about how this idea of “beautiful exchange” plays out day-to-day in my world as a mom.