“That brings down the final curtain on Dana and Wendy.”
These were words spoken when my grandmother recently passed away. This meant I was officially without any grandparents still alive. One of the last times I ever spoke with her, I cried after hanging up the phone because she sounded just like the female version of my dad & it made me miss him so much. Reading these words brought up the stark reality that one day my final curtain was going to come down and when it did, what would my boys say about me?
Honestly though, another thought hit me when I read those words, and it really came down to the fact that I was frustrated because it didn’t have to feel like the final curtain was coming down on the Hood family play. There was a lot of life learning, love, laughter, gum popping, muscadine eating spunk that I missed out on and it really bummed me out. Don’t get me wrong, I am on this earth because my grandmother gave life to my awesome dad and I am forever grateful for that. I’m just being selfish and saying I’m sad that I didn’t get to experience more of what my dad’s mom had to offer. These thoughts are just my attempts to process what I’m thinking right now about my final curtain call because I don’t want my kids or grandkids to feel like I do right now.
That being said, there is a lot about the years since my dad died that makes me so sad. The glaring things not even acknowledged and the seemingly intentional thoughtlessness from so many have spoken louder to me than any words could ever have been shouted at me. I have experienced the raw longing for the hug of my father, the desire for my boys to know the incredible & brilliant servant my dad was, for them to have watched endless nature shows & Braves games perched on his lap & for them to know the love of one of the most selfless men I’ve ever known. His life continues to shape & direct mine all these years later. I’m PASSIONATE about being intentional with the legacy I’m leaving for my boys through the way I love & serve them as well as the way I love & serve Michael. I’m far from perfect, but Lord knows, I do my best.
I want my boys to know how to love each other, our family and people outside of our family really well. I want joy to rule our home, even on the hard days. I want them to be confident yet humble. I want them to know no shame or condemnation and be fully aware that they are nothing without Jesus. I want them to be quick to forgive with hearts overflowing with gratitude. I want them to be generous and kind. I never want them to doubt for one moment how much their mom and dad love them. I want their wives to be loved beautifully. When my earthly days are done, I want my boys to celebrate my life together. I want them and their families to treasure and laugh and cry about their mom.
I want them to know their mom had done everything in her power to equip them to face the world and where she was inept, she wholeheartedly trusted her savior with her precious boys.
I’m sure there is more, but I fully believe by prioritizing virtues, love and laughter as a part of our home, the curtain doesn’t have to go down on my life. Rather it can just be the end of the first scene and my legacy will be carried through the remaining acts.
The Gift of Forgiveness