The Secret of the New Year

I’m sitting here pounding a candy cane of Reeses pieces in running pants because jeans are constricting and a big tshirt because it covers my tush.

So, I’m not sure why you should read anything I have to say about the New Year or Resolutions or Goals.

I’m like you. I get to this week every year and I get excited and sometimes overwhelmed at the potential. Hopeful for the new year ahead and think..

“This year will be different!”

“I am going to make some changes!”

“I can do it!”

And, by January 9… I am back at the normal, busy pace, moodiness and horrible eating habits.

So, what the heck does a girl like me to do? I wrote an “OVER IT” post about those stupid extra pounds a while ago and haven’t done much about it. I KNOW how it feels to be at my absolute best – when I ran 3 miles several times a week and didn’t care what I had on because I just felt awesome.

I also know what it’s like to be up and down all the time and emotionally eat. And that’s just ONE of many things on the list.

I could tell you about my dreams and goals for a neater house or structure or sleeping and behavior things to change with my girls. I have spent some time thinking about why I don’t make much traction in my toughest areas.

This is the deal. I think I uncovered the root of the issue for me.




There are few things that are SO HARD to me that need to change this year – because of biblical reasons and for the major impact on my family. And frankly, they are hard. They take work. They take self-control. And no one else can do it but me.

It is my responsibility. Sure – I can use God’s help, accountability partners, apps, mentors, fantastic books – but it’s ME. My responsibility. I truly believe that some of the biggest beasts in our homes – tempers, sleep deprivation, moodiness, unraveling marriages, fatigue can really be overcome. I am just realizing that I absolutely need God to do it and I absolutely have to be willing to do the work and not just for one week.

Few of us will work that hard and that long. I want to be that person this year because of the way it would honor God and bless my family. My LACK of responsibility and self-control in some of these areas is affecting them for sure. (PS – I know it isn’t all up to me. Ole Mr. DeFeo is with me on some of our joint family changes/tasks. Not taking full responsibiltity 🙂

And, let’s be honest. I am a mom and so are you. We are strong people. We can do this! I had two babies, started a biz, had many years tackling some huge projects, walked through many seasons and journeys – I can set some goals, work hard and obtain them. Simple, huh?

I truly want to look back on 2013 and know that I was DIFFERENT because I followed Christ. I didn’t do the easy tips or tricks and grab that are basically wired for me. I can encourage and lift up and inspire people in my sleep. That’s not arrogant – that’s just telling you that some things aren’t work for me. WORK for me is structure, schedule, exercise, consistency, saying no, waiting for results, submitting, respect and more. What amazing lessons are hiding in that list for my daughters to discover if I can have the guts to work so hard.

One thing I have learned in parenting – you can actually focus on changing too many things. I’ll just set myself up for serious failure if I set out to do too much. So, here are a few big ones that I think could rock our family in the greatest way in 2013.

  1. PERSONAL WALK WITH CHRIST – I must stop making excuses and get my daily routine/time figured out. Even if they get up at 5:30 – I got to get them sleeping late or they stay in there quietly until I am up, ready and had my time. I can’t be the wife, mother, friend or blogger I want to be unless I am getting fueled daily by what is true. If I have time to let Facebook and email set my mood and comparison mindset – I have time to see what the Bible says first. I want it. I need it.
  2. BUDGET – I adore giving and our family goes crazy blessing others in many ways. I also have a blast spending and my husband has been way patient. It’s time I stop this and meet the budget he has giving me. This act would do more for my marriage in 2013 than anything else I could do. He’s not asking that much – just don’t spend more than we have. We are celebrating 10 years this year. I think it’s time.
  3. HEALTH – I think I had this one my list last year, yep. A family that eats well and exercises well feels well and is happier. It’s just true. And I know it. Time to wear the clothes and use the membership my love Court – not just wear the clothes because they are comfy. 🙂

Now, how? This all is basically a time management issue. I am a free bird, creative spirit that flies by the seat of my pants. I have to get some structure or I’m going to go nutso. I do love being spontaneous – but having some boundaries or set days/times when I work on Lil Light O’ Mine or setting dates when I exercise is going to be key. The scary, bold thought – if I do all that is most important – do I even have time for a blog or business? That thought has crossed my mind for ME, not for others – and I’m just putting it on the list of things to pray for this year.

Karen Ehman said this in her Let.It.Go. book and I’m adopting it. She used the phrase “work than play” and I have tried to think of this blog/biz/ministry as play. If I have done everything else with my kids and my home and my husband – then I can get online. That’ll be hard, but oh so worth it. A little tricky when orders will be pend in the new year. Another friend of mine said, “you can tell pretty quickly your priorities from just looking at where you money and time is spent.” Ouch and she’s right.

Here are some things I am reading.

1)    THIS BOOK IS ONLY FREE TODAY! I read it today – and it’s SO GOOD! My mentor Linda Werner with Legacy Principles sent it to me. Love it. I don’t have a Kindle but was able to read it on my computer.



2)    This new book by Kayse Pratt (also FREE) has got me fired up about my home and how I can structure it to meet my goals and stay on top of things in the home.


3)    40 Days to a Joy-filled Life by Tommy Newberry – halfway through this and it’s so short and easy and packed with awesome stuff. Our mind is incredibly powerful. I have wasted SO MUCH TIME stewing on stuff I can’t control.




Later this week – I’ll share some more ideas on big, fun dreams and goals for the year! I am working on a sheet that Linda gave me and I’m excited to write down some attainable goals in areas for my kids and marriage. I loved reading this 2012 list from Money Saving Mom and her take on goals got me excited to get started on mine.

Oh! There is it again – that TIME thing. Scheduling time TOMORROW – to get away. Quiet. WIth a new journal and pens and a calendar and a Bible. 2013 – Lord, it’s yours! Let’s plan.

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