Transitions
It’s August. Y’all know what that means, right? It means it’s still summer.
Unfortunately, the school board seems to have a warped view of summer around here and we went back to school August 4. (For the love, I know!) So, what August really means in the Powell household is a time of transition. This year, it’s more transition than normal. That’s because this year, all three Powell puppies (that’s actually what my dad calls them) are in real school. Not just preschool a few measly mornings a week for a few measly hours. But real, 7 hours a day, and sometimes homework school.
We’ve been excitedly preparing. (And by preparing I meant that we ordered our school supplies off amazon the second the list came out in May and hung out at the pool until it was actually time to go to Meet & Greet and then we went back to the pool. It’s August, remember? Summer?)
But the day, when all three of my babies went to school, for the whole entire day, I was sad. Not anxious. I am not an anxious parent at all…and I’ll write more on that topic later. And I was not sad for them. This is an exciting time for them. And I also was super excited for them. As a kid I remember loving the first day of school every year. I was just sad for me.
I knew this day was coming. I tried to prepare for it all summer.
But at 8:10, when I was shoo-ed out of the classroom by my much-too-independent 5yo (in my opinion), and walked back to my now empty car, I just felt lonely. This happened over two weeks ago, and even now, just remembering how I felt that day brings the lonely feelings back. Throughout the day, I was so aware of the little things I had never paid attention to. And those were the things I really missed. Like when one my favorite songs came on the radio and I had no one to car dance with me. Or when I sat down to lunch and had no one to eat with.
After a decade of having at least one child at home with me the majority of the time, this new season will take some getting used to. And I slowly am. I’m seeing the silver lining here and enjoying activities I previously did not have time for. Like working part time. Gym dates with my husband. Breakfast dates when we slack off at the gym. Getting to actually look through a cookbook and enjoy making dinner instead of the crazy rush I used to end up doing around 4:45. Do you know that one? In the Powell house, it often would end with macaroni and cheese for dinner instead of the wonderful idea that was crushed when I realized I never thawed the chicken earlier. Uninterrupted conversations with friends. That’s actually a pretty big one. I chatted with my bestie the other day, and I think it was the first uninterrupted phone conversation we’ve had in over 5 years. I kid you not.
Anybody relate to this?
Anyone out there think I’m crazy for feeling this way?
(Totally ok if you do by the way. I think a little bit of crazy keeps you healthy.) Anyone else have any suggestions/advice as I navigate these new waters?
In the meantime, I have a book I plan on reading for pleasure that I now finally have time to read.
It is a weird feeling to suddenly have so much time – it’s been so long that I am not sure what to do with the time. Emily, thanks for reminding me that transitions are hard on a Mama!
I’m glad I’m not the only one! I read on fb so many people excited about all their “free time” that I was starting to think I was the only one feeling this way!
one funny discovery is lunch. all of a sudden it’s 1 pm and i’ve been working so hard during my new “work hours” that it’s time to have lunch. and i would normally just have what i would make larson after school. a rolled up piece of ham or the crust of her pbj. whatever. now, suddenly that feels weird. alone. kid food .so, i’m figuring out what a mom eats during the day. i made a three bean salad last night for the week and i think i like it. if it’s not easy and ready – i’m so going to the drive through for something with a large tea.
Haha! I am laughing at this because sweet tea for lunch is pretty much what I’ve been doing since I don’t know what to eat since there’s no crust and leftover goldfish for me to devour. The silver lining? Maybe I’ll finally loose those 5 pounds!
I feel ya, Emily. I think its hard even for moms who work outside the home. I know I normally don’t get to see my boys during the day, but knowing that I missed that part of his life… I can’t rewind. And I know I’m where God wants me right now, but there’s no going back. That preschooler has grown into a little boy. Now I have two getting on the bus together. Wow. Watch out for this second one, world. He is a mighty warrior. And I can’t wait to see big brother step up as leader and protector on the bus. God’s plan is always the right way. Even if this mama needs some hand holding during these transitions. He knows the desires of my heart. He catches all my tears. He sees my obedience. He loves my boys even more than me. So thankful for mamas who share life!
Thank you for that…you are so right! God’s plan is always the right way even if it’s hard on me! Thanks for putting it in perspective for me!