Typical Day On the Job

 Is it just me or do you feel like you’re getting punked some days?

I mean.. there has GOT to be a camera rolling near me!

I have done a similar post like this before.

I think it’s just fun to stop and giggle at the insanity called motherhood.


Do not bel alarmed by this post and please walk away from a table of women that are going ON and ON about their labor stories or complaining about motherhood too long. We’re just jaded and crabby. We need to remember the GLORIOUS and heart-combusting moments to share with you. There ARE the Gerber baby moments too. Don’t give up on your desires or let us realists scare you. 🙂

So, what does a a typical day look like for me?

Not sure this is typical (spent 1/2 my monthly budget in a day), but this was today!

7:00 am 

Heard Larson yelling MOMMY/DADDY the sun is up!

Shocking! because she is my 6:20 am riser.

Praise Jesus – why didn’t I set my alarm at 6 am last night to beat em up?

Ugh. Another run/quiet time missed.

I don’t feel guilty for long because I am RESTED

and there were no children on top of me.

Larson begins breakfast demands.

Ron does his morning routine and is gone

after sweet smooches and checking to see if Ella is alive.

7:30 am

Ella wakes up, WHAT!

That’s day 2 of sleeping the latest in her life.

Then, Ella begins her plea, “Mom, you said I could stay home with you one day while Larson is at school – so we can be together just us.” I avoid answering the question because I LOVE LOVE LOVE Tuesdays and Thursdays when I crank through Lil Light O’ Mine work, house work, to do’s errands like a mad woman.

She is trying not to cry and I’m trying to determine if these are real tears or avoiding school tactics.

And, I need coffee and there is none.

I KNOW we’re going to Costco for coffee.

I’m not sure if I’ll have a sidekick.

7:45 am

Checking emails, sending in orders to the warehouse, making Larson’s lunch for school, wardrobe negotiations, reigning in their hair, splitting up a couple cat fights, started a load of sheets because I noticed a pop tart piece engrained in Larson’s and it reminded me that it’s been some time, no shower for me – standard.

8:15 am

Throw on a workout outfit because it’s easy and elastic hoping it will motivate me to actually jog later.

Hurry the crew so I’ll have time for starbucks on the way.

Oh, and I leave everything out from breakfast and lunch making bc I’m messy and I’ll clean it later (put up cold stuff).

Coffee trumps clean house.

Ella has asked me 152 about our day and I finally cave because in her eyes I see it’s real and I know she actually needs me.

I give her the official nod WITH DEATH EYES that say – if you brag to your sister right now and make her lose it – the deal is over.

8:35 am

Clean out the car of old drinks – this is so standard and so disgusting.


Say NO to the DVD request that came in before the garage door was even shut.

Put on some praise music because somehow my “quiet time” is going to happen.

Listen to praise CD and my girls sing “hallelujah” at the top of their lungs.

I have a rear view mirror moment and tear up.

Drop off sweet Lars after she took the news of Ella just great.

9:25 am

Arrive at Costco – because that’s what every 5-year-old wants to do on their day with mom

(I warned her we had some to do’s .. and school would be the most fun choice)

CLOSED… not open til 10

I huff and puff and move on to the next errand… search for a UPS store… says it’s 1 mile away.

Drive there… can’t find it. No longer there.

Huff and puff internally this time.

Ella says – Mom, let’s just go back to that Chick-fil-A until Costco opens!

Don’t you love when the child is the mature one


We walk straight in and towards and playground and I almost TINKLE my pants because THIS is what greeted me.


I mean, what! These things are EVERYWHERE in Florida!

In my mailbox, parting like the red sea as I jog on the sidewalk. It’s just gross, people.

Like a a great girly mom … I jump, squeal, grab her hand and rip her away like it was a poisonous snake.

We go get food and then watch the sweetest employee just about tear a vertebrae trying to catch little geico man.

He comes out sweating (I say, oh please don’t, we are fine) – and he says “Oh, there are TWO! I’ll have to get them at some point.”

At this point… it’s time to shop at Costco.


We have guests coming this weekend – so you know the normal, fruit, flowers, pita chips, coffee

and a BUBBLE MACHINE if you have your kid in tow.

THEN, I start thinking I need to upgrade my patio furniture because that chair is comfy and I like reading on the porch when it rains.

Not sure why I took a picture to show Ron when I know his response will be… jump.in.the.lake.


NEXT STOP: Home Depot

On the way, I might have checked facebook at a light (BAD BAD BAD) – and saw a photo of Ashley in Uganda and started explaining to Ella why she was there.

Totally teared up at the thought of my friends doing something so powerful and the thought of my 5-year-old “getting it” on some level.

Must repace some flowers that I killed from only 2 weeks ago.

(I’m really sorry Kelli. I didn’t kill everything, almost.)


Yep, I really cannot keep things alive.

Kids – barely. Plants – no. Animals – won’t even try.


And, I bought 2 things that I predict


My new blower. I will never sweep again.


 2. My new handheld shower head for the GIRLS BATH.


WHY did the mom-of-the-thickest-haired-children-in-America

NOT ever think of this before now?

Came home and


We revived some of Kelli’s masterpiece on my porch, replanted my ferns, played with our new hose nozzle thing, fired up the blower and had a blast.


(need taller pots)

Oh, and we fired up the bubble machine.


Made a mental note during that: Um, she is an ANGEL when she’s alone. And I don’t do this 1-on-1 kid/mom thing enough. So priceless.

It’s when they are TOGETHER it’s so challenging. Hmm…

With just a few more moments to kill, we stopped for a lunch date at Jimmy John’s.

And, I took the opportunity to teach her the game of Punch Buggy.


She LOVED it. We only saw 2 and I now regret teaching my kid to hit me. 🙂

2:30 ish

Playtime with sisters – aka – mom needs to catch up on emails/work/facebook/pinterest

so please play nicely and don’t fight and we’ll all make it to dinner

Install new handheld shower thing,

so impromptu bath/shower for girls.

At some point, our journey landed us on the porch swing.

I had a concious moment of gratefullness.


They fight and act up, but they are so sweet and so edible and such a gift.




All three of us about tinkled our pants. I’m telling you guys, I cannot make this stuff up.

I had no idea he was there – right on the corner of our porch – opposite side to our reflecive porch swing time.

I’ve seen him hanging around the park before, but does he just normally cruise around the neighborhood?
Where the heck do we live? My friends that know my fear of all animals are choking on their coffee right now.

5:00 pm

Once again. No dinner in the works.

We HAVE to get food for dinner and our weekend guests.

It is sprinkling and I pass my boots in the garage and since they make me happy, I put them on.

Before we get to the store, little sprinkle storm is over and I feel like a big idiot for having my boots on like Noah is rolling up with his animals.

As I’m walking up to get Larson out of the car – she spots my boots and laughs out loud.

Confirmation – mom looks like an idiot.


I fly through each aisle with lightening speed skipping the deli meat bc it takes forever (will they ever staff that appropriately?).

Hoping the free cookies will last until at LEAST the soda/chip section and then bribes or threats will surely get them through the last three.

We get to the milk section and I hear LARSON CRYING.

My head swivels with attached eyes of DEATH… and she has a soaking wet shirt from our free deli water we swiped.

She is losing it. Does not dig a mess or wet.

I rip her shirt off and take one for the team.

She wears my cardigan and looks like a wet abused puppy in the race cart beast cart.

I look like a tramp in my black cotton dress and tall rain boots sans cardigan.


At this point, I have decided this blog post will be written tonight.

6:00 pm

We race out, pass two ducks by the park, what?!?

Get home and dad joins us minutes later.

We debrief him on the exciting day.

Fix a delicious Boboli pizza and Ella begs for plain Lasagna noodles.


Whatev. Eat something and get in the bed.

7:30 pm

We have a dress rehearsal – trying on their “outfits” for their first concert

The Fresh Beat Band

tomorrow night.

Dad sings every song while we dance like maniacs.

Change to jammies. In bed.

Another Africa talk and prayer time for Ashley and Kylie with Ella.

She asks if we’ll adopt “her and Larson” meaning give her away – fix that in her heart.

Then she asks if we can adopt one. Uh-oh.

8:00 pm

Calendar meeting with Ron, debrief, veg out, computer, leave kitchen a disaster

9:00 pm

Write this blog post and watch TV and surf net

And, that is the thrill of being a mom right there!

My days are TYPICAL.

Typically crazy and busy.

Typically sweet, fun and joyful.

I am so thankful I’m a mom.

I love adventures.

(NOTE: Someone asked me before. My 5-year-old is in preschool Mon-Thur from 9-12 and my 3-year-old goes Tues and Thurs from 9-12. However, they can stay for lunch until 2 if they’d like. My girls BEG to do it and I let them often (2 days a week) because I often have so much work to do and they have a blast with their friends.

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One Comment

  1. what kind of lizards are those, because i found one on my window apparently,
    and my daughter wants to catch it for her collection, (yuck!) and i said i wasn’t sure about it being nonpoisonous. and said no until i find out. and she started crying her eyeballs out.

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