Time and experience offer perspective. This is true of every part of your life. Once I had my first job, I had experiential insight to share with young interns. Because I had mastered the role? Nope! Because I had been an intern. Once I walked down the aisle, I had advice for brides-to-be. And, now I spend my days sharing encouragement, resources and love for other moms – since I am raising my own girls.
Each of us long to help others. We yearn to reach back and pull other women along in the journey. To save them from hurt or regret – not because we know it all, but simply because we have been there.
This is a list I have sent to bride-to-be’s over the years. I hope it encourages you. You’ll never regret taking your eyes off yourself and looking at others. I’d love for you to share with a bride you love. Or, your children.
Wedding Day Advice – Focus On Others
1. Your groom
There is a temptation in every bride to get completely consumed by the wedding day. It is all about you and you should feel very special. However, you are a couple that means two people, not just one. And, this is the only day you’ll ever walk down this aisle at this time to this man. Do your best to forget what just went wrong. Do your best to not worry about your spanx or flowers that fell – just zone in. Find his eyes as you walk. Give him a look that he’ll never forget. A look that says, “I chose you. Forever.”
2. Your Mother
Whether you are the first to wed or the last – weddings are highly emotional for moms. The stressful decisions can often strain this relationship. I left my mom and Ron’s mom a note on the pew with tissues waiting for them. I wanted them to know before I came down that aisle my gratitude. You can write it to them for that day or stare into their face that night and thank them. For the wedding details, the hugs, the lunches made – all of it. Isn’t mom radiant in this photo!? Wowsers!
3. Your Father
When we got engaged a man came up to my dad and said, “Congrats! You will feel like you ran a Lexus into a lake.” How encouraging! It’s actually true. Most days would rather die than spend this kind of money on flowers, treats and pinterest details. (wait, i didn’t have pinterest yet) So, simply thank him. Write him a note and tell them it was everything you dreamed. Find him before you get in the get away car and hug him in a way that assures his heart. You’ll always be his girl.
4. Your team
Chances are that you did not get to the altar alone. There were friends by your side for every relationship and heartbreak. Years of prayers. A wedding coordinator. A helpful aunt. Take moments leading up to the wedding to thank them in personal ways. A heartfelt note beats any monogrammed keepsake.
5. Your God
Don’t forget your creator. Every good and perfect gift comes from above. And you found yours. The formal prayer in the ceremony is wonderful, but has he truly heard your heart? Gather with your wedding party and give him true thanks. Get alone time with your husband on the wedding night and start with prayers. He deserves the most praise.
I have never met a bride that regretted her focus on others. However, I’ve meet many (including myself) that regret being so self-absorbed. Remember, the most radiant brides are those with beauty within.
I am so old. I have no idea where my photos are – on a cd in a fire safe place perhaps? They are definitely not on social media or even this computer. So these are iPhone photos of photos. Brilliant. Other note – did only men come to my wedding? See aisle photo. 🙂