At what age should you have “the talk?”

I am a mom of girls. They are little, but growing at lightening speed. I am preparing and thinking about the years ahead. Boy questions are already coming up. They are observant little things.

I am not panicked, I am preparing.”

I look for wise, biblical counsel. And I pray. Check back with me in a few years when I am panicking. 🙂

Lynn Cowell is one of those wise people. She is PASSIONATE about girls, especially teens. She is one of those godly leaders in the Proverbs 31 team you read about often and she speaks with such fire yet genuine love.

Her book came out called Magnetic just weeks before mine. And it gripped me. Just the title.

I want my girls magnetic. That’s it! I want boys ABSOLUTELY gripped, attracted, drawn to them – not by their looks, money, personality, wit or cute clothes. By something inside. I want the love of their heavenly Father to flow right out of my girls in such a way – that they captivate others.

Lynn crystalizes a deep desire (maybe part fear) that I have for my girls. I want them to be pursued – for who they are – just as they are. I don’t want them desperate for love and attention.

I am delighted she is giving away two copies below AND she is writing for you today!  I need this question answered. Now! When Do We Have THE TALK?! Eek! Take it away Lynn!


At What Age Should You Have The Talk?

by Lynn Cowell


So…how old were you when you got the talk?


Yeah, that one. The one when you learned it all…and were probably mortified.


I was…well, actually, I never got the talk.


What I learned I heard on Lincoln Elementary School playground in Cedar Falls, Iowa in 3rd grade. What Lisa missed, my 5th grade teacher filled in the blanks a few years later.


To be honest, it wasn’t much longer after that, when I was still a teenager myself, that I decided I was going to do things differently. I know, it is very dangerous to say that, that you’ll do things differently. And actually there are not very many things I did differently as a mom because my mom was amazing. But when it came to my girls learning about what I consider one of God’s greatest gifts, well, this is where we were not the same.


It was when my girls were each in 3rd grade, (yes, I did repeat with them the year I learned at school because I wanted to be the first one to tell them and not their own form of Lisa on the playground). We took the trip. We hit the road with lots of snacks and loud music (or knowing me it was the other way around). Did some shopping. Eating out and staying in a place that was nicer than the norm for our family. And during the car ride, Doctor Dobson told them all about how they came into the world (via CD’s of course).


That was the beginning of our conversations…and they have never stopped. Mariah is now 20. Madi 17 and we still talk about boys, dating and all the things that lead up to babies coming into this world.


These two precious girls are the driving force behind why I write books and travel across the country talking to teen girls. I want them to have a safe place – where someone will tell them what they need to know and whether it is with their mom, a small group or even with me through social media, they have a place where they can ask any question. Any. Even my 23 year old son and I still talk about girls. What he is looking for…and not finding


I want this for you and your kids too. If you want it of course.


So if you want open conversations where your kids can feel free to talk about anything, I hope this free resource (video below) which Courtney has been so kind to share today will help open up discussions for you and your girl. But not just for you and your girl, but for their Sunday School class, small group, youth group or any place where girls want to talk about boys (which is just about any place).


In addition to my book – as a resource for “the talk” – I would recommend this resource if you are nervous already by Family Life.


Enter to Win

We’re also giving two readers another freebie today – a copy of “Magnetic: Becoming the Girl He Wants”. Packed with honesty, encouragement and perspective-changing truth Magnetic by Lynn Cowell (available at Amazon, B&N, CBD, everywhere books are sold), will empower girls and young woman to reach their fullest potential by focusing on becoming who God made them to be! A girl who reflects God’s love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. A girl attractive to the right type of guy: one who loves God with all his heart and who will cherish her!


To enter to win, simply share the name of the young women you would love to see reach her fullest potential and receive a copy of Magnetic. TWO winners will be drawn this Saturday.


If you cannot see the video, you’ll find it and the free discussion questions here.


About Lynn

Lynn Cowell is a Proverbs 31 speaker and the author of several books including her newest Magnetic: Becoming the Girl He Wants. Her passion in speaking and writing is empowering wise women to raise wiser daughters. Her husband and their three children live in North Carolina where they love to hike, raft and enjoy anything combining chocolate and peanut butter.



Thank you Lynn! I cannot wait to share this video with many friends (and my girls one day). IT IS AMAZING. Ladies – press play and keep watching. You won’t be sorry!


I fully endorse Magnetic.

I read this book cover to cover and and I highly recommend it to all moms of girls. Read it before your girls are tweens and teens. AND have your girls read. If my girls were a touch older, I would gather a group of moms and have our daughters do this book together as a study in our safe place – our home. This is biblical, sound advice. Based on the fruits of the spirit. There wasn’t any inappropriate stories or moments in there. All terrific advice. Thank you Lynn!
And because we are buds like that – I’m writing on HER BLOG today! And she’s giving away a copy of In This House, We Will Giggle. 

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  1. Oh I so long for my girls Hollins and Presley to live up to their fullest potential and grab hold of their unique calling in life.

  2. I would LOVE to see my girls Thorin, Sorenna and Cannon be amazing lights for GOD. I pray they find the man who loves them inside and out. My oldest daughter is hearing stories at her school about relationships (non-christian ones) and I want so much more than all that for all 3 of my girls.

  3. This would be helpful with my daughter Laura but also the many girls in my extended family. I’m that aunt that the kids all want to sleep over at, building forts in the living room and staying up late talking about life. School, friends, and yes boys.

  4. I would LOVE to win these copies. One for my ever-evolving, magnetic 11-year-old daughter, Brynn. And one to share with her BFF Megan so we mamas can read and chat with our girls together. Encouragement and accountability is key on this crazy journey.

  5. so excited to read more about “magnetic” and too am nervous about having the talk with my 8 year old! we are a family of girls – 3 nieces in addition to my daughter with #4 on the way! i so want them to be confident in who and who’s they are! so for gabrielle renee, houston avery, emma claire and vivian laine – let’s get ready to be the princess god created you to be!

  6. For my Celia & Ella whom God has entrusted to my husband and I for raising up 2 MAGNETIC girls!! I know God has a good plan for them and am so grateful for women like you to share their gifts and callings to help us with our complex roles!!! Thank you!!!

  7. I would love to have this book for my daughter to learn to adequately share with her what my mom never did and create a pathway for open conversation for the rest of her life. I would love to share this book with my friend and her two girls as her family pursues this life as being a youth ministers wife.

  8. I would love to read this book with my daughter and my friend Kendra who has a daughter Emory and we are trying to teach them to be magnetic!

  9. Isabella! Oh, how I pray he will flow through her and she will be all she is designed to be. Thanks for the opportunity!

  10. We have 9 and 10 year old girls! I never had “the talk” and my husband, a wonderful, loving, awesome , devoted Christ follower who reads to them from his worn Bible every morning is in complete denial any words yet need be spoken! We went bra shopping for our 10 year old three weeks ago and bought 8 bras…eek is right. Thank you….

  11. Could you share with us the resource you referenced?
    “Doctor Dobson told them all about how they came into the world (via CD’s of course).”
    I have a 3rd graders so i am wondering if/how we can locate and possibly use this?

  12. I wish I had someone have the talk with me. I got given a book and one video session held at school in year 5. I would love to able to share this with my daughter Sophie.

  13. I do not have girls, I have two teenage boys. We had “the talk” when they were each about 9-10 and been having ongoing talks since. Such an important topic! I am youth leader and I can’t wait to read Lynne’s book!

  14. I hope I’m not too late — I would love to read this with my two big girls (and hang on to it for my youngest to read in a few years).

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