Why Don’t Friends with Kids Have Time?

The point of this post: 1) Get you to laugh at our joyful chaos called motherhood and 2) Answer the question “Why don’t friends with kids have time?” that inspired my post for today. I think it is an article from years ago that just keeps circulating. This is REALLY long, sorry.

All times are a rough estimate of course.

6:15 – Woke up in Ella’s bed (not really sure when/how/why I got in there) – begged her to go back to sleep

6:20 – Ella on floor half-crying/whining that she is hungry and begging me to go downstairs, I beg her to get Daddy and she says he is asleep

6:24 – After much debate and whining, I roll out of the twin bed, get her milk, start a show and lay down quickly on couch with her for a few more minutes of rest (oh and post Katie’s blog entry at some point)

6:30 – Larson starts crying and I don’t move a muscle. Hello, lazy mother of the year! We do this often and never speak of it. It’s called “don’t move a muscle or give eye contact’ to see if the other parent will budge”. Do you play those silly games? Ella said, MOOOOM! She is crying! Are you going to get her? So, I got her. Ron won.

7:00 Ron left and then let’s call it THE SWIRL. I just go around and around my house like 192 times picking up things and throwing a nutrigrain bar into the pit/den (trying not to get caught or stopped) and then I keep swirling (pick up a sock, throw away tacos from dinner last night, put dirty clothes on the steps to go up, check email/facebook/twitter/lillightomine, type up documents for a stop later, etc.) Once I get up and moving, I am on fire. And I’m like a maniac multi-tasker. I am not the “pick something and finish it” – I do about 100 things at once and sometimes I get most of it done. Rarely I should say. Somewhere in these two hours – I refereed roughly 15 fights and had to walk Ella through a post-tramautic-stress announcement that “we are going to the dentist” today. She cried on and off until we left.

8:30 – Wardrobe negotiations begin. I survey their closets and decide “I’m the mom! and I’m picking today!” It did pop into my mind that this is the last week before Halloween. Today, I was needing some matching girls in Fall ensembles. Brought them down and as usual, Ella said Ok and got dressed with little fuss. Larson began convulsing when I rounded the corner. I WANT PURPLE LEGGINGS!!!! Forced clothes on Larson. I put shower body and get dressed and maybe some makeup – definitely dirty hair.

9:15 – Mandatory starbucks run, Ella still crying at 5 years old about going to the dentist, Larson ate 2 bags of cheerios in 3 minutes and then crying that her tummy hurt while I was trying to make a business call. Great debate over which movie to watch – although that’s only for long car rides, right? 🙂

9:45 – Arrive at business that houses all my products to drop off and pick up stuff. Ella bathroom emergency so we have discussion about “business office behavior” and then they play “soup” outside with bark in the landscaping until my boxes are ready.

10:15 – FLY like the wind to the dentist. Ella crying again about going. Having role model/brave for your sister talks all the way there.

10:30 – We arrive and I have a GREAT moment with another random mom. As we hold our children in the dentist chairs, we laugh and sweat and compare anxiety. It was her first time taking Bailey and that sweet thing was letting them have it. Sweet momma said her back was hurting from holding her down and the stress last night worrying about and she had cancelled 3 times. The dentist is no joke peeps – and we go to THE BEST, THE SWEETEST for kids ever. Ella goes first and does great. I had to sit RIGHT there but she was awesome. Lars did OK, not awful but not great. I was about to sweat through my sweater from stress. This mom thing is for strong people. I love when you instantly become a friend with a mom because we’re just a team and we get it.

11:38 – Get a text from BFF to meet her at lunch – for sure. Starving and girls are hungry. Always easy. Always fun.

12:20 – Not sure WHY I told Ella she could get her hair cut if she did great at dentist (because bribery is a real solid parenting tool – come on Court!). They are SLAP happy in the car which means one thing – the fall is coming soon. Nap is near and we should not be headed out to another stop. Because I like punishment, we drive on. I notice a grey hair in the mirror which is funny because I just paid to get those done yesterday. Larson throws a screaming fit over ice. Katie calls as always does to see if she could make me dinner or someone else – I say um YES and YES. Larson starts reciting the B verse from the scripture cards out of nowhere and Ella corrects her on a word and recites it perfeclty. That’s pretty neat. Then, a fight breaks out over ice.

12:45 – Hair cut so Ella can look like the other Ella in our neighborhood and like me/Larson – happy girl. Leaving in the parking lot, I hear Larson say “UH OH LOLLIPOP!” I assume it hit the parking lot. And we leave. You must read this whole entry.

1:18 – Head home and pass the mansions in Buckhead. Ella says “can we live there?’ um no. Larson says, “Those are adorable!” I notice the pumpkins and start feeling guilty for the lack of pumpkins and pumpkin carvings at my house and NO pumpkin patch this year. Too busy. I’m so sure. They will survive.

1:40 – Pass Ella’s BFF on the playground at her school and try to stalk her and scream out window. Teachers look scared and like they might call cops. We drive off quickly.

1:50 – Throw two girls in the bed for naps. I tear off sweater and boots in a hot flash and throw to the ground bc apparently it’s now summer again.

2:30 – Girls down (well, in rooms) – dive into Lil Light O’ Mine world – answering customer emails, checking facebook, media calls, etc.

3:00 – Conference call with web agency about changes on this here blog (Ella has already conned her way out of bed – watching a show. ugh! too much tv right now in our home.)

4:00 – Larson up and Katie the BFF comes by with two meals – one for me just because and one meal for my neighbor because she has a newborn and 2-year-old. we remember too well.

5:00 – Take meal to neighbor and steal her daughter to play. i LOVE to throw another kid into the mix later in the day. They get over each other and enjoy some company. Ron out of town so we were in no rush. Kids had my full attention which was fun. Playing was our goal.

Bikes, chalk, bubbles, whatever. They even let me take a few photos of their cute faces.

Neighbor’s ride drives in way too fast and i give him the stare of death – you take out one of these kids and you don’t know who you are crossing. You know the look. You’ve given it.

6:15 – Neigbhor takes her child back who i adore and i whip up some odd dinner combo (saving katie’s for when ron returns. he loves it.). When husband is gone – my low standards on dinnertime go even lower. We eat, I check email too many times.

7:00 – We head upstairs and Larson decides she needs to put on panties (she is not potty trained yet) – I say ‘sure’ because I’m done for the day. I am sitting in the bathroom sink destroying my face with some tweezers – what am I 90? And I hear “UH OH Lollipop!”

YOU GUYS! I cannot make this up! I could not believe my eyes!!!

That child had dropped her lollipop in her diaper? What? I still don’t understand how it is true. SURELY this cannot be the same one from after the hair cut. She slept on a lollipop for 2 hours? I did not change her diaper for 5 hours? It dropped into her diaper? How? Her shirt wasn’t off. I am seriously so stunned. So cracked up. Or, she had another lollipop during the day and I was too frazzled to notice? Any way you slice it – I have LOST MY MIND. I hope you all feel like awesome mothers after this.

7:45 – Skip the bath, forget it. A wipes wipe down, jammies, teeth, books and bed. Mom is DONE. Almost…Larson down.

8:00 – Ella and I disucss “booing” someone’s house – so we run across the street to prank our neighbors who booed us. Her first booing experience.

8:10 – Back to bed. Ella down. Mom on couch, facebook/email/blogging/email/etc.

Sad part – where is God’s word in this. Honestly – just didn’t happen. Had some prayer time but certainly didn’t start with Him or make that a priority. Above is not my ideal day or my best day – it’s just a fairly typical day that’s just the reality of one mom. And in between all of this – trying to keep cool, teach values and keep my eyes open. So, that’s why friends with kids don’t have time.

Can you relate to this post?